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"Tightness" in Sex

Published on September 23, 2013 by bells04

I recently gave my virginity away to my boyfriend. I really do love him. The thing is, in the past, I have had some issues regarding molestation, but the man didn't go in me. I broke my hymen when I was doing sports so the bleeding came then. I grew up hating my vagina of how it turned out. I also know that for some reason, it's not as tight.... After we had sex, I asked him if I was tight, and he said yes. I was surprised...but I felt that it wasn't true. The next night, he said he lied. I told him, I know I'm not tight. This hurt me so much. I grew up having so many insecurities about myself and that was the main one. It hurt a lot. I don't know what to do or how to go about this. Also, I don't know if its not tight to him because he has a small penis? Or it really is just me. Please help me.

ANSWERS

Sexual satisfaction has a lot more to it than the size/tightness of the genitals. There are many different positions and foreplay that can increase sexual satisfaction for both partners. Also, deep love and caring increases the emotional bond and intimacy, which improves sexual response. I think the more important problem is that you are uncomfortable or unhappy with your body. And sex with someone is not going to fix that. That is an issue your must work through on your own. I suggest you work with a therapist on the molestation issue and your body image. If this guy really cares about you, talk to him about what is going on with you, that you are working on it, and that you need his support. If you are not convinced that he really cares, then I suggest not having sex with anyone until you have worked through this problem and then find someone who cares about you as a person, not only as a sex partner.

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