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Tense Kisser

Published on April 16, 2013 by kbans22

The guy I am seeing is not an experienced kisser. He doesn't relax his lips and usually just gives repetitive "pecks." Can I fix this without saying anything? How can I tell him nicely to relax?


I think its easy to accuse a guy from a woman's perspective of "NOT KNOWING" how to kiss, when many women think they are the authoritative figure on everything regarding men and women,intimacy,sex-who's doing what right or wrong. Lol, This is a sarcastic ,joke but seriously speaking- we guys are mature and intelligent enough to DECIDE when,where, and who we will share an intimate kiss with. Yet, there can be quite a few good reasons he is doing the peck kiss with you and it doesn't mean he is inadequate or ignorant of how to kiss. Here are a few good possible reasons: 1. funky breath that has been masked with mouthwash. Some people men and women need to simply brush their tongue and teeth and a swish of mouthwash just always make a person kissable to share tongue 2. I don't put my tongue in every woman even if we are just having sex. That means oral. I know friends and I have also refused to tongue kiss females who have performed oral sex on me, and we guys do the peck to women we don't trust. Saliva is sterile, but the guy secret is we don't know where your mouth has been...Its hypocritical but its a guy thing. 3. Morning Breath or Halitosis a condition that even Listerine can't cure which smells like onions,raw sewage, and puke. 4. Men who peck kiss are afraid of intimacy. Some of us men get so turned on by kissing that our "johnson" (male organ) gets too aroused and if a woman sends mixed signals we just rather avoid the entire scenario because it gets uncomfortable and we don't like the tease and can't easily or readily separate JUST kissing (making out), and not having sex- which 85% of us guys think should go together...5. Poor Dental health. Cavities can stink, plain and, now if you rule out all of the above, its best to just go in unassuming that he doesn't know how to kiss and make a game of it where you use strawberries,fruit or other munchies you know he likes and allow for him to choose in a spontaneous way. Much success!

First, make sure it's not bad breath or poor oral hygiene (either yours being offensive or him being self-conscious of his) is not the problem. Regular toothbrushing and perhaps the occassional gargle of mouthwash should be sufficient.

If you have a problem communicating your wants and desires to him the relationship is doomed anyway. Take the lead, tell him what you like, and show him what you like. Most men would love to be your student. As with any training, encouraging the good with praise is far more effective than punishing the bad with criticism.