YOUR VOTE0 0
Taking a break
I am currently on a deployment and met a great guy here, but it's been a very stressful place for a relationship. While you can "date" here, relationships are not encouraged and no type of physical relationship is encouraged. So we had to keep it a secret. Everything was great at first and we saw each other nearly every day. However, I told one of my co-workers about the relationship. My boyfriend started distancing himself at that point, but I didn't understand because I just wanted to see him. He explained many times that it was not me and because we were here, but I don't think I was really listening. I became more emotional and clingy. He is not a very emotional guy and very independent. There were a couple instances where we got in an argument and almost broke up once, and he said he should have gone with his instinct and not started a relationship here. But we did stay together and things got better. But then I made a huge mistake by telling one of his friends about us, he found out of course. Other people already knew about us because he either told them or they found out at our New Years shindig so it was starting to go around about our relationship. He ended up being warned by a higher up that if he was ever caught at female barracks that he would get an article 15, very bad. He was extremely pissed off and broke up with me immediately, but he talked to me later that night and the next day and said he would wait until we get home to see if he wants a relationship or not. He's not a very trusting person already and now I really blew his trust as well. He expressed that he doesn't know if he wants the added stress when he's going back to school and work. But we did plan for me to visit him once we are both home. The problem is I still continued to be a little emotional and clingy after the break up and he has become more distance. But the day before he left he was still very affectionate, we hung out every day the week before his departure and he was still talking about me going to visit him when we are both home in about a month. The problem is, we are now long distance and our only communication is via chat. He hasn't really talked to me since he left (about a week) just one conversation that I initiated. I'm trying to give him time and space, he's still not actually home yet. But I'm so afraid he's just going to decide in the next month he doesn't want me. How can I get him attracted again from far away? Here in about a week we will both be in the states again and that will make communication easier. I'm not sure if for the time being I should just give him space and let him make the next move, or see how he's doing occasionally? I considered sending him a message that I realize the mistakes I've made and apologize for the lack of understanding and respect on my part, but IDK if that would do any good now, because actions speak louder than words. He's a very straight forward guy, he said if he doesn't want to do something he won't, and he doesn't play games, he wouldn't drag something out. He doesn't just jump in and out of relationships either. I'm just very confused right now, I think I tend to think the worst, and him not really talking to me is making me think he doesn't care at all anymore. I just want him to be more attracted again, I want to start fresh and show him I can be different but I don't know how?