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Stuck in a rut

Published on July 27, 2013 by passiveingredient

I am still hung up on my ex. It has been 2 and a half years now. I know. It is ridiculous. She was my first serious relationship and we dated through the start of my university experience up to the middle of hers. Effectively almost 2 years. Since the break up which I triggered due to her pushing me away ( I couldnt stand to be the one being dumped) , I have had several casual relationships, been on quite a few dates and effectively gone back into the mix that is dating. I have also rejected a few offers of relationships because I felt there was not enough spark. Despite this whenever the topic of her is brought up, intentionally or not, (my mind drifts alot), I still feel immense amounts of loneliness. I cant stand myself now, despite being in better shape, having good career prospects. I feel almost constantly empty and when my friends see me, I put on a smile and act normal. I can act normal but underneath its like im diminished and lacking. I dont know what to do. I hate to sound arrogant but I know I am reasonably attractive and I have potential but I still feel so useless. What should be my next move?