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still confused..

Published on December 4, 2009 by aqua

Hey thanks for the reply,but he held my hand,and he s more of a holy person,gave me a bible,this weekend he s taking me for a movie,he gets jealous often when his friends talk to me,and taking a license for me,wants to tke me for a long drive..thts y i m confused.

ANSWERS

Lyz, she looks to be carrying on a conversation from a previous question titled "Confused." Aqua, you may want to go ahead and either continue discussion from your first question so that we know where you are coming from. That, or make a new post like this one, but give us some background information to help you out rather than continuing conversation on an older question that we may not even see since it is older.

I looked at your older question that is related to this one, I am confused as well, lol. It looks to me that the guy really likes you, but maybe he is holding back from commitment for some reason, maybe something in his past like you said. He says he does not want to hurt you and thats probably true, but more than likely he does not want to be hurt either.

Aqua,

The guy has been hurt and doesn't trust in full on relationships right now. In a way he is lying to himself by thinking that so long as he isn't calling it an actual "relationship" with you then he won't be hurt again. At the same time he is telling you that you should be with someone else because he can't give you what you want.

You should believe him on that.

He isn't over whatever it is that has happened to him in his previous relationships, and it sounds like his exes probably cheated on him. Either way, if he is so insecure about you talking to his friends then there will probably be other things he will get insecure about. Right now he shouldn't be dating anyone.

I question whether you should really be dating anyone either right now. It was only 7 months ago that you posted your question about a different guy from your workplace who you loved desperately but couldn't be with because your work relocated you someplace far from him. He kept on dragging you along while he was dating other women...and he would still get mad at you because other guys asked you out!

You need to really take some time to yourself to do some soul searching. Right now, these 2 relationships that you have had this year are pointing out that you really aren't wanting a real relationship right now. The men you are picking are emotionally unavailable and sometimes physically unavailable. Yes, your current guy may be doing all sorts of great things with you and he is wanting to spend time with you, but he is going to get more and more confused about how he really feels about you until he sorts out his past. Until he does that he'll just keep on stringing you along as well, keeping you more confused.

Take some time to yourself. Take a lot of time for yourself. Try to look at why you are picking men who can't commit to even being in a relationship with you but don't want you talking to other men. Figure out what you really deserve for yourself, set up your boundaries around it, and then don't ever compromise on those boundaries. You deserve a relationship with a man who is emotionally available to you, not one who keeps you at arm's length but pulls you in when it looks like he'll lose you.

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