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"Starting over" with my ex, how to get the relationship back?

Published on September 17, 2012 by ser_de_lluvia

I've been dating my boyfriend (current ex) for 3 months. After a major misunderstanding involving an ex girlfriend of his and my own insecurities of if she was telling the truth about still be involved with him or is she was unable to let go the fact that he moved on, we ended up breaking up. After the "dust" settled so to speak, I found out that she lied and is completely unstable. As you can imagine, I felt horrible for the way I reacted, the things I said to my then boyfriend and how I just shut down on him. I even changed my phone # when I thought he'd betrayed me...

 

After 3 days of not speaking to him, I went out to my car one morning to find the ring he had given me (that I gave back) and a poem in my car door handle. I was still apprehensive but touched. I emailed him the next day and said if he meant what he wrote we should talk.

 

We went out to dinner and it felt like a date but the tone was serious. After talking a lot about the situation, my ex thought it would be best to start from the beginning: build our friendship and trust first and then see where we are for a relationship.

 

The evening felt like a date, we still touched each others hands, reminisced, and even went to the movies!

 

My question is can we do wat I explained above without getting put in the friend zone? Right now I feel at a disadvantage since he has my new number but I don't have his... What should I do? Or best to just leave the ball in his court?

 

Thanks!

ANSWERS

How does he have your number but you don't have his? How do u guys contact each other?.. and i do agree with rebuilding the relationship from the beginning and giving it a fresh start.. however, you should make sure that you're definitely getting back together.. that would suck to get friend zoned by an ex, especially when you're under the impression that u guys are trying to work things out..

Simple. The last time I saw him before the above dinner, he deleted his number out of my phone. The only way the dinner happened was because I emailed him...he has my new number but like an idiot I forget to get his :( I guess I just have to be patient now

Listen, get his number and save it.. he shouldn't have the option to call you if you dont have the option to call him.. also, I really do urge you to see exactly what his intentions are just so he doesnt string you along and possibly waste your time.. Does it seem like he wants to be back with you or does it seem like he's getting comfortable with the friendship?

Breaking trust in any relationship is difficult to restore but not impossible. Depending on his personality style, background, and faith if any can bring restoration quckly or drag on for a while.

The question I would ask myself is "Are you looking for him to be "the one"? Practically you need to evaluate this and this separation gives great clarity to this. When i was dating my wife, I told her if I didn't get clearance from God and three Godly men in my life I would pull chalks. God worked it out quickly but it was torture for her. She knew it was meant to be but from a spiritual perspective.

In summary, asking the deep questions for marriage and looking from a spiritual perspective with King Jesus as the author of your life is the best perspective we can give you.

In his strength Daniel and Michelle Faust

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