ANSWERS

I have heard this concern quite a bit. The women don't necessarily want to say frequent sex is a 'problem', but in the end, the sex they are getting is failing to meet some need or desire that they may have. It is vitally important that you do some soul searching here. What is it that makes you want to find a way to "spice it up". Have you two been engaging in the same sexual position for over a month now and it feels like 'robot sex' to you? Are you not feeling as turned on as you used to with the usual sequence of events? Or have you both been looking for things to do in order to further your intimate connection? For some couples, the littlest change can do a world of good- a change in position or a switch in who initiates sex. Role playing can be a great way to find out what your partner is in to, but both parties need to be able to actually role play without laughing. If you can't, someone is gonna be giggling while the other one will be frustrated that you 'aren't trying'. But who knows- you both may actually love it! If you all are toy virgins, I suggest a frank conversation about the possibility of introducing something new into your sexual bag of tricks. Some men can be leery or even down right intimidated by toys, thinking that women are trying to replace them. Be patient- toys are not to replace; they are to enhance. A real and confident man will be open to using adult toys on his partner and not feel like he is just been kicked off of the team. A good way to introduce your man to a toy is to start by just introducing him to Vibration. Not a Vibrator- just the idea of feeling something on his body that is vibrating. You can use a simple bullet to use while massaging his body. Stay above the 'equator' line in the beginning. If you go right for his testicles or perineum, you may have one frightened and traumatized turtle. As he becomes accustomed to this new sensation, you can start to incorporate vibration into any sort of genital play that you engage in. You can hold the bullet in the same hand that you are using to stroke his penis, gently glide the bullet down the back of his shaft and move it down his testicles. And when your man is ready, a great erogenous zone for men is the perineum, or better known as the "taint"- the area between his testicles and his anus. Now, for you!!! If you are familiar with what feels good on you, then congratulations! If not, get to figuring that out and pronto! Take some private time to explore your body so that you can give your man a lesson if need be. Maybe he thinks that he knows all 'your spots'? If he doesn't, teach him. You both will be happier for it. Not a Lingerie girl? Start being one. Men are visual creatures and love to see their lovers all dressed up like a Christmas gift! Don't worry if you have small breasts, a bigger butt than you want, or even a belly that is not bikini ready. Men don't see that!! They see that a women is in the room, in Lingerie and are ready to have SEX!!! So, find something sexy and get to sexin' in a new and fabulous way!!

I think you need to talk to him about what he wants and let him know what you want. Communication is the greatest challenge. Ask yourself this question. How can we, strangers at yourtango, know what is spice for your partner. Ask him!!

Good luck and let us know what he says.

Actually i don't hv a any experence but through the my studying experence 1st of all u 2 hv needed to real n truth love eachother den u go to sex wid him and attometically u got spicy sex wid ur boyfried n while u are having a sex dat time don't think about ur boyfrieds mistaken for ur lyf den u cn got

Surprise him with something new. Seduce him in a new place, like on the couch while watching tv. Wear a cute skirt or dress to a party, then let him know there's nothing underneath. Or straddle his chest and hold his hands over his head and tease him until he licks you silly. On those 'off' days, give him a nice long massage, then use bay oil on him for a nice torturously slow, slow happy ending.

Vacations are a good idea that I often suggest to married couples because it usually lowers stress and changes the scene. Try different positions, clothing, role playing, or games. Flirt during the day and talk about what you'd like to do or plan to do so you'll both be anticipating it. Anticipation and preoccupation often helps bring more focus and energy to love making.

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