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Sooo Confused

Published on July 2, 2012 by all-i-can-be-is-me

I have been dating the most amazing guy ever. And I feel like I am in love with him. He knows about my ex and has asked me not to communicate with him anymore. I said I couldn't because I still had feelings for him. Long story short, I visited my ex the other day & now I am wanting to be in a relationship with him even though I still love my current boyfriend. What should I do? if it helps any, my current boyfriend is deployed, has no kids, and very hard working. My ex has 5 different kids with 4 different women and is currently unemployed til the end of this month.

ANSWERS

Here’s the thing: You have laid out all of your options, you just need to make a decision. If you really cared about your current boyfriend and he is amazing as you say he is, it would be a no brainer.

Why did you and your ex break up in the first place if you are not ready to let him go? Ex’s are ex’s for a reason. I would take a long look at the relationship you had with him and figure out if it’s something you are willing to do again.

As for your new guy, you need to either “shit or get off the pot.” He asked you specifically not to contact with your Ex and you are doing it anyway. He has made his expectations of you very clear and you have completely disregarded them. I am not saying you have to do everything he tells you to do but if you are not ready to move forward with him, let him go so he can live his life and find someone who is into him. You should figure out what it is that you want and do the same.

...so your ex maintains the "false hope" in you that if you do this or that, your relationship can be the same euphoric as at the beginning... and he makes you believe that against all odd you will not be the 5th abandoned women with the 6th abandoned child... I'm afraid you have a talented Emotional Manipulator.

I am happy you asked, because it shows that your common sense tells you it will lead you nowhere. Use this common sense and evaluate your ex's behavior:

Did he keep his promises? Did he respect you? Did he support your dreams? Did he make you feel like a worthy, valuable person? - I guess the answers are mostly no.

Choose the one who makes you feel like a worthy person, who accepts you as you are, who supports your dreams.

I cross my finger for you to commit to a straightforward communicator!

Good luck!

Zita

For more info about Emotional Manipulation, please check out this Presentation in my Blog!

http://blog.soundsoulcounseling.com/revealing-emotional-manipulation/

Why'd you breakup in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd place? Anything change there? If not, no matter how much fun it was you'll be back to breaking up again.

If you decide to go back, you'll kiss the good thing you have with other guy goodbye.

It's not just 'should I reconsider?' but 'which one'. Irrevocable. Only you can choose; choose wisely because you can't go back. good luck.

I was on FB the other day, went to my boyfriend's page and saw that he didn't have a "relationship status" up any more. So I went to my page and posted "Single" under my status. He calls me that same night & asks Why did I put that I was single...long story short I asked for a break & he said he doesn't do breaks. We are either together all the way or not at all. I said we are together then & he said well you wanted a break so email me when you feel like being in a relationship & then hung up. What the heck do I do? Of course I want to be with him but being in a relationship where he is deployed dosen't make it easy. PLEASE GIVE ADVICE

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