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Published on October 2, 2010 by loverollercoaster

recently my bf and i with whom i've been with for over 5 years, are having trouble. we drive each other crazy but we can't seem to break up. one day, we got into an argument and we both got hot headed. he started screaming, so i tempted him and said "you've done everything horrible, y not just hit me? that's all you have left of ur list of stupid things to do" and i beckoned him and so he slapped me. it was a light slap that i barely felt and i realized i might have provoked it so i called him back and he said he only did it to get me disgusted so i would leave him for good. obviously it didn't work. now the other day, we got into a very heated argument cuz i found messages on his phone which made me believe he was cheating on me. he got angry that i didn't respect his privacy. i called him out on a promise he broke while i was away. he was dumbfounded, and got angry that i knew he broke his promise of not drinking, and told me to get outta the room. i was stubborn and i didnt but instead stayed and yelled at him for being a liar, so he started throwing my bags around the room and he pushed me slightly while telling me to get out. i got angry he touched me so i slapped him really hard. and he slapped me back. later he was really upset with himself and i saw he was tearing (he never cries. i might have seen him cry once before in the past 5 years) and he apologized but warned me to never slap him in his face ever again cuz it really angers him. is this acceptable? i know i crossed my limits by hitting him and he was caught offguard wen i began accusing him and that's why he got defensive and told me to leave, but is it acceptable to hit me back? if i punch my brother, he punches me back and we call it even- but is it acceptable from my bf or is this just a dumb double standard? should i believe him or should i leave him?


Considering all that's happened, I believe it is time to leave. Speaking from experience, the verbal abuse leads to little things like shoves and slaps and then to punches and more.

Your relationship isn't healthy anymore. For your own sake, sanity and safety, move on and don't look back. He's made it pretty clear he doesn't want you anymore, so why keep this chaos going? It's not healthy for either of you.

Get out of this now! Friday,I had the agonizing task of saying my final goodbyes to someone I grew up with. Her husband strangled her then killed himself afterwards. Now 2 innocent kids have no mom or dad. Don't let this happen to you. God has better for you than this and in HIS timing you'll find it. I'll be praying for you.

You asked for it, you got it. If you don't like violence, don't provoke it. You're not innocent just because you're a woman. Wake up! What did you expect him to do say, "Thanks, I needed that?" grow up.

This doesn't sound good at say you provoked it, whatever, but the respect has gone out of this relationship. Since you and him have gotten physical with each other, it's only going to get worse. If you suspect he's cheating on you, he probably is.
So more reasons that one, this is not a good relationship for're not going anywhere with this man. Another reason is that you've been with him for 5 years and not even engaged???
I'm not saying your boyfriend is a bad person, I'm just saying that he's not the man for you.
You need to move on and either be single for awhile or find yourself someone new who better suits you. BTW.....I've been in an abusive relationship myself so I know the warning signs.
I know breaking up with someone after being with them for so long is hard and you're going to miss him and cry, and want him back and think it'll get better.....yada, yada, yada......but believe me.......THERE IS DEFINITELY PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA!!!

Once abuse begin and you accept it,it over and it will continual,so my advice to you is to get out! You NEVER provoke a man into hitting you,your starting something you want be able to control,LOVE doesn't hurt and if he truly loved you he wouldn't never slapped you,he would have left. Your still young and you think this is love but it's not and fighting all the time are red flags,something is not right! A WORD FROM THE WISE GET OUT! GOOD LUCK!