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Should I text him?

Published on June 4, 2014 by toriphile78

I starting dating a guy for a few weeks. He seemed interested, texted me multiple times a day everyday. Then he started having some family trouble and told me he needed to cut back on his social life and focus on being more supportive for his family for a couple of weeks. I told him I respected his request and would give him the space he needed. We haven't spoken in almost 4 weeks. Should I be the one to text him first or does it sound like he blew me off?

ANSWERS

As a YourTango Expert, there would be more information that you would have shared with me if you were in my office at Seeking Shalom (www.SeekingShalom.org) or if you were seeing another expert in their office. So, consider talking with people locally who can better understand the full situation.

Here are some things for you to consider as you decide what you will do: - How do you feel about your relationship with him? How promising were those two weeks? - What has happened to your feelings during the four weeks that you have not heard from him? - What sort of family problems was he facing? Could he still be dealing with those problems after four weeks? - Have you heard anything about how he is doing (through others if you have not heard directly from him)? - What sort of a text do you want to send to him - one to check in, one to respark what was, one to offer support,...? - For you, what is the significance of being the first person to send a text? - How would you feel if he has blown you off? - Is texting the best alternative available to you to reach out to him?

As you consider these questions and work out what you should do, you have the possibility of returning to a situation within which you find peace and wholeness.

As a YourTango Expert, there would be more information that you would have shared with me if you were in my office at Seeking Shalom (www.SeekingShalom.org) or if you were seeing another expert in their office. So, consider talking with people locally who can better understand the full situation.

Here are some things for you to consider as you decide what you will do: - How do you feel about your relationship with him? How promising were those two weeks? - What has happened to your feelings during the four weeks that you have not heard from him? - What sort of family problems was he facing? Could he still be dealing with those problems after four weeks? - Have you heard anything about how he is doing (through others if you have not heard directly from him)? - What sort of a text do you want to send to him - one to check in, one to respark what was, one to offer support,...? - For you, what is the significance of being the first person to send a text? - How would you feel if he has blown you off? - Is texting the best alternative available to you to reach out to him?

As you consider these questions and work out what you should do, you have the possibility of returning to a situation within which you find peace and wholeness.

As a YourTango Expert, there would be more information that you would have shared with me if you were in my office at Seeking Shalom (www.SeekingShalom.org) or if you were seeing another expert in their office. So, consider talking with people locally who can better understand the full situation.

Here are some things for you to consider as you decide what you will do: - How do you feel about your relationship with him? How promising were those two weeks? - What has happened to your feelings during the four weeks that you have not heard from him? - What sort of family problems was he facing? Could he still be dealing with those problems after four weeks? - Have you heard anything about how he is doing (through others if you have not heard directly from him)? - What sort of a text do you want to send to him - one to check in, one to respark what was, one to offer support,...? - For you, what is the significance of being the first person to send a text? - How would you feel if he has blown you off? - Is texting the best alternative available to you to reach out to him?

As you consider these questions and work out what you should do, you have the possibility of returning to a situation within which you find peace and wholeness.

Since you really have not known him for long. You have to go with the information he gave you. He said he needed a "couple of weeks". It's been 4 weeks and he hasn't taken two minutes to text you and say, "I need a bit more time." He said he needed to "cut-back" on his social life, not end it and go into isolation.

I'd assume he is done with me, if this had happened to me. It's possible that two weeks from now he could text you wanting to start up again, but you would have good reason to tell him you moved on. You could still pick up the relationship where you left off, if you wanted to, but he'd have to give you a convincing explanation as to why he did not think of you in all that time and take 2 minutes to tell you he needed more time.

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