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Should I stay with my husband?
I am a 29 year old woman who has been married for the past 10 years and I have two children with my husband. We married within a month and a half of knowing each other as I asked him to marry me and he said yes. My life at that time was very stressful as I was living with my parents and had a tough time getting on with them. So I really think I wanted to run away from them. Life with my husband has been generally good however I feel that in times of great crisis he has left me on my own. Without wanting to sound too big headed I am told on a daily basis that I am very beautiful by lots of people friends included, except my husband who never seems to notice. He on the other hand has lost his hair and has put on a lot of weight in his belly as he has stopped looking after himself completely such as ignoring to wash his teeth, shower or to wear clean clothes. I am always the one who initiates things in the bedroom from the beginning as he says he is lazy. Things have gone from bad to worse as he now seems to not want to even go near me as he either falls asleep or says that has a headache. Over the past year I have developed an eating disorder that is making me ill and even initiated an emotional affair with a guy much older than me who is married with children. We had been friends for a long time and he has always flirted with me heavily but I have never returned his advances until a few months ago. As soon as I told him he kissed me and then tried to make love to me to no avail as he could not get hard but kept repeating how beautiful I looked. I felt the worst and as soon as I got home I screamed at my husband for a divorce. I have even contemplated suicide but chickened out at the last minutes just thinking of my children and my poor parents. I am a disgrace of a woman and never thought I would stoop so low. I guess I have a very low self-esteem that is slowly killing me. I wonder does anyone have any comments regarding this horrible mess of a situation...open to any suggestions.