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Should I Say Yes?

Published on June 11, 2014 by sportsmaven

I have known a guy for about three years. Day one he told me he was going to marry me. We have had arguments regarding my commitment and about me being too busy to marry. I have refuse to give him a yes because he may have some hidden anger for being taken away from his father when he was born and never connecting with his family. He says he is okay when we talk about it, but I can hear the anger in his voice. I just don't want to marry him until that issue is resolved. It seems to have lead to a toxic relationship with his other brothers and sister who do not share the same father.

ANSWERS

Hello sportsmaven,

Have you discussed with him the possibility of talking to a relationship coach or relationship therapist together?

This would be a very good way to find out his feelings about being taken away from his father and either confirm he's truly dealt with them or could now heal them.

This will also give you the opportunity to confirm (to him and yourself) if you ready to commit to marriage.

I'd be very happy to talk to one or both of you to sort out your feelings. Please let me know if you'd like to talk by writing to my personal email Christine@ThePefectCatch.com

Coach Christine Your Tango Expert

Very good for picking up on the "anger" in his voice. Did you challenge him on that when he said he was OK with it? That is one of the best services we can do for each other as a couple to help each other grow, as long as you both agree it's OK to question each other on it. This can help us to be more honest with ourselves and see unconscious patterns we can't see for ourselves.

Ask him about the "anger" that shows through when he talks about what happened to see if he can notice it. What are the judgments he is making? Ask him how he thinks holding on to past resentment is helping him? If he is ready to heal, I recommend EFT tapping, (Emotional Freedom Techniques).

www.healingwitheft.com

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