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Should I move out while husband is gone?

Published on April 9, 2014 by ilovemykids

I have been married for 5 years this Sunday & we have two beautiful children (2 yr old boy/9 mo old girl). My husband has cheated on me at least once and is majorly addicted to porn. I have tried telling him I want a divorce multiple times in the past, but he always talks me out of it. I'm starting to wonder if I should just move out to my parents (who already know about the situation) while my husband is gone for the day. If I explained in detail even a fraction of the things he's done, you'd be shocked I'm still with him. It's so hard making the final decision to move out and I've had such a battle with it.


As there are many factors in your individual situation that could alter the answer that might be offered, you may want to talk with someone who is able to respond to your particular situation.

From what you have said, there is the implication that there is the possibility of abuse occurring within your relationship. If there is severe forms of abuse involved, including physical abuse, it is often the case that the safest way to leave is to plan ahead and then to leave when the abuser is not present.

Another side that you should explore is how both matrimonial and custodial law works in your community. How will you be left if you abandon the marital home and all of the marital property? How would your moving out affect the custody of the children? These are questions you should explore with local experts.

Overall, you do deserve to have an environment within which you can find peace and wholeness. The fact that you are carefully planning this route is a positive thing as the process can affect how you feel in the result.

As a Your Tango Expert who is a mental health professional, I would encourage that you also seek out mental health support for yourself (and possibly your children). You can find a place like Seeking Shalom ( in your community.