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Should I just give up hope on this one?

Published on November 15, 2012 by jewels7683

I started dating a guy at the beginning of this month. Things were moving along great, we got along great and we both wanted the same things. After talking for a while and a date, he asked me to be exclusive with him, which was great because I felt the same. He told me he wouldn't ever hurt me and that he wanted me to trust him. We started talking like a couple would and moved along like I felt a relationship would. His grandfather pasted away at the same time all of this was going on. Then he got sick, probably do to all the stress going on in his life. I tried to be supportive and let him know that if he needed me, I was there to listen. I tried to give him a little space to deal with what was going on, like letting him call and text me. This past Sunday I was running late to be some where so I didn't text him in the morning like I usually do. He texted me and asked me why I hadn't texted him and I explained to him why I hadn't. He seemed to not believe me when I alway tell him I was happy with him and wasn't looking to be with someone else yet he always asked me if I was looking for some other guy. He seemed very distant and always seemed too busy to see me and too busy to call after a while. I tried not to push but it was hard when he was the one who wanted the relationship in the first place. A couple days ago he sent me a text saying that he was going back to Arkansas (where he has a farm) for a while and he wouldn't be around to take care of me. He also said that he hoped I found someone very special, that he was very sorry and not to hate him and that he would talk to me later, and also it was just bad timing for him. I told him that he broke my heart in saying that, that I didn't need him to take care of me and that I was sorry that he felt like he couldn't call me and tell me that and that he broke my trust. Then after I calmed down, I said that I appreciated his honesty and good luck. I asked him why he was going to Arkansas and he told me because the guys who had been running the farm for him, quit and he had to hurry up and find someone new to run it or the farm wouldn't make money. He was leaving on a flight the same day that he sent me that text. He said he was sorry and that he would be in touch. I said I understood and that I hoped that maybe we could get together when he got back. I haven't talked to him since, nor do I plan to. We had met on a dating website and when he sent me that text, I went in and deactived my account because I was upset. I went in later in the evening and tried to look at his profile and his is deactivated now too. There is a lot more that happened but I don't want to make this any longer then it needs to be. Is there a chance that he might come back around or am I just living in a fantasy world? Why did he freak out when he was the one that seemed to want all this? Should I just give him space and see what happens or should I just chalk it up to bad timing and move on? Thanks in advance for the help.


The fact that he asked if you were looking for another guy when you simply didn't text him one morning is a red flag. The fact that he could go so long without seeing you or calling you is another red flag. He is a wishy washy, unstable person who really doesn't want a long term relationship. Maybe he said he wanted to be exclusive so you'd be intimate with him, but didn't really have that as a goal. He's not a man I would give a second chance to. Try to supplement your dating pool. It's a little less pressure than online dating. Good luck.

Yeah I didn't ever sleep with him. He stayed over one night and we go close to having relations but he said he wanted to wait till we progressed further in the relationship. He was and still is very confusing. Just not sure what I did wrong and maybe I did nothing wrong and it really was bad timing. Thanks for the response!