There are some unanswered details that would help explain the situation but I will do my best to reply based on what you have said.
I find it a bit unbelievable that your partner's company is giving you a job. Especially in this economy. Did they interview you? Do they really have a job opening that fits your skills or did your partner create it with his influence? If your partner had a hand in creating this job so you could fill it, that sounds a bit like he is too involved in your career. If he is that involved, what is that about? Does he have some fantasy that partners who work for the same company have some sort of special experience? Also, if you took this job, would your partner be in any way involved in your supervision, even indirectly? If so, then I say don't take it.
If the job opening really did exist prior to your hearing about it and your partner just thought you would be a good fit, then that's a more realistic situation.
There are couples who work for the same company and it works for them but usually if they are not in the same department and in nearly all cases only if they have no managerial say over each other.
Many companies have policies against such arrangements, though of course, many do not. Can I assume that this company has no such policy?
I admire your wanting to take responsibility for your own success or failure and not have your partner involved with that (items 1 and 3). I say hooray for that.
For item 2, I understand that he is paranoid and jealous but I don't see what that has to do with this situation or with your working at his company.
So, if you had no interview then you are right to be cautious. Think about it like this - if the same job situation came to you with the same terms but from a company that your partner had nothing to do with, would be interested in it? Would you trust such a company that came to you with a job offer in that same way? If the answer is no, then I think you should approach this job with the same scepticism.
So I think you taking this job would work if all of the following are true
a) The company has no policy against this situation
b) The job existed before, and your partner had no hand in its creation.
c) You would not be reporting to your partner either directly or indirectly.
d) You can do the job with your skill set or you can do most of the job and see it as an opportunity to grow in your career
e) You want the job for reasons other than its more money.
I hope this helps.
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