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Should I get into an Open Relationship?

Published on January 2, 2010 by cupcake001

I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months. We fell in love instantly! only one problem....He prefers open relationships. This man is by far the ONE for me, he is a great man; honest, loving, adoring, affectionate, and an excellent communicator. I can't imagine myself with another man. I am ok with a certain amount of openness (i.e. threesomes, group, sex parties, etc) But I am not ok with him frequently dating and having sex with other woman on his own.

I don't know exactly what I want because I have never been in an open relationship, but I know that I don't want to lose him, and I love him deeply. What is the compromise between monogamy and an open relationship?


if he loves you he'll want to be with only you!! Don't let him have it his way - then you'll always just be 'one of the many'

he prefers, LOL thats because he is a pig. he is a commitment phoeb. if you are a swinger and that makes you happy then go for it. but if you have always been a 1 man at at time woman then dont let him talk you into compromising yourself. if he really loves you then he wont be thinking about other women. men do fantasize but they dont usually say, hey honey can i sleep with this woman cuz she's hot? they think, wow that woman is attractive, but i have a great woman at hime and i'm happy and comfortable with her and i want to keep her. you deserve to have someone who thinks that way about you, not oh well i see someone that my penis says i should sleep with.

Okay obviously your 2 previous answerers don't get it. An open relationship IS NOT the same thing as a swinger relationship. Yes I know!!! First of all you have to separate your loving relationship from any and all sexual relationships, rather they be open or swinger. Either way the outside relationship is to enhance and better the loving relationship. We all, as couples have our own rules of what is and what will not; but it is 'our' rules 'our guide lines' as a couple. If you are okay with a swinger relationship, but not an open relationship, then you are more open minded than most. GO YOU! (patting you on the back) So simply tell him this "Hey, we are still in a new relationship of ~only~ 6 months, and I am fine with what we do with swinging, but today-right now, I'm not ready for that next big step to go open. Maybe when we have been together longer I will be, but not today. Is that okay with you?" If he truly loves you, then it should be great by him! You didn't say never, you just said not ready today. The fact that you are okay with and you will even swing is HUGE! It is okay that you are not okay to open your relationship more; to be honest, at only 6 months into a relationship I wouldn't be either. Heck, I have been married for 23+ years and 'open relationship' is ~still~ on DH and my 'NO' list, but we do love our brand new swing set of rules! LOL

You're 6 months into a relationship and your partner wants to see other people. You think you're in "love" and you'll do anything to please him and he knows it. You're being taken advantage of so he can have a good time.