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Should I date an older man?

Published on March 29, 2012 by mistee

I am a 31 year old woman, I have always dated men around my own age but for some reason or another it never worked out. I have met a man who is 43 and he wants to try make a go of it with me, I get on good with him we have a good time but the age gap is bothering me – I think it maybe worrying me what people think about the situation.


If you were dating a 60 year old I would say that people might think something about your age gap, but not a 43 year old. Go for it! And who gives a hoot what others think anyways? it is YOUR life.

Dating an older person should be based on how you feel about them. I am 50 now, have no woman in my life and am starting to wonder if there is anyone out there for me now. It may be too late for me. When I was 30 I dated a woman who was 40. I didn't care about the age difference. I loved her all the same. And her additional life experience broadened my horizons in remarkable ways. The funny thing is, she dumped me because I wasn't in a position financially to take care of her. Yet there is a 35 year old woman at work who is involved with a 60 year old man. And they're deeply committed to each other. In terms of what other people think, who cares? As long as you and he are happy, that's all that matters. And trust me, an older man will be grateful for your affection. At least he should be.

Dear Mistee,

Perhaps answering these questions may help you decide.

  1. Do you feel like he cares about your well being?
  2. Does he treat you the way you like being treated (i.e. with love, respect, kindness, etc)?
  3. Does he treat your family and friends well?
  4. Is he trustworthy?
  5. Do you share similar values?
  6. Does time fly when you're together?
  7. Do you give each other space to pursue individual interests?
  8. Do you like who you are when you're with him and when you're without him?

If your answers are "yes", he sounds like a man worth dating and having a relationship with. Worrying about what others think prevents you from being open to a man and relationship that could be wonderful.

People will have opinions that may be self serving, based on their experience and perspectives, etc. But their opinions won't be true for your situation because they are not you. What matters most is what you think about your situation.

Wishing you much love,

Janet Ong

Why is it we are needing approval of the mass media? You have previously interacted wih the guy and said you enjoyed his company. Why not ease into it and see what feels right. Older men use less labels. Enjoy eachothers company and if a relationship comes out of it kudos if not another friend. ;)

Thanks for all the replies!!! :)

Janet Ong - YES YES YES TO ALL questions!!!!