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Should I confront the other woman my husband is having an affair with?

Published on August 24, 2009 by bellabella

We are not legally separated or divorced. He left me and my young son one day (told me he would do it but never when he would leave) and said that he needed time to figure things out. I did not assume that meant having an affair and now I fear that any chance we have to reconcile is squashed by this woman's presence in his life. She is a homewrecker and I will do anything to improve our marriage for the sake of our son, who misses his daddy very much and wants us to live together again. I just want her to know my feelings about what she is doing and tell her to backoff until my husband and I have cleared up our marriage one way or another.


I understand how hard it must be to have the person you love and want to be with be with someone else. Confronting her probably won't do any good. If she feels she has him and she loves him she will not just let him go or leave him for your sake. Did she know he was married when she got involved? Had he already moved out when they got involved? If she had no idea about you or he had already left you before coming involved with her it is really not her fault. Sometimes as hard as is may be to think about it, consider yourself in her position.

I was recently "the other woman" and I HAD NO IDEA he was married. We were on the phone all hours of day and night.... he called ALL the time.... !! Day and night - NO IDEA where the wife was........... BUT: I DO wish his wife would call me, but I suspect she has NO IDEA. I would love to warn her how "smart" he is about his moves. I, at times, almost want to call her..... poor woman. You might get in touch with her and realize that you two actually share some feelings and situations.... !! Good luck!

Don't bother with it. He made the decision, and if it's not her, it will be some other woman. I can understand your anger, but it's misdirected. If you should feel anger towards anyone, it should be towards a "man" who would be selfish enough to leave his wife and child. You should be angry towards this "man" who didn't have the guts to tell you that he wasn't happy, but led you to believe that there was a chance to work things out.

Even if that woman wasn't in your husband's life, it's HIS responsibility to try to work things out. There will always be women around, and you can't be angry with each and every single woman who draws your husband's interest. The other woman isn't the problem; she is just a symptom of the real problem.

No. You should not confront her. I am sure she knows how you feel. The only person you should confront is your husband. He is the one who is at fault. While the other woman was willing, it wouldn't have happened if your husband hadn't let it. Confronting her won't give you closure or any answers that you want. It will only make things worse. You need to find your peace without attacking her. The object of your wrath is your husband.

No don't confront her. Odds are it would only make you feel worse. She may not be aware that he's married but he knew all along. Yes when she knows she should break it off. When he left he either had his eyes on her or they were involved already. He's not comming back unless she dumps him and he finds himself lacking a warm body. Don't be his doormat I know your son misses his dad but he does not need that kind of exaple of male behavior that is not a healthy environment for him to grow up in. Find a man who treats you well snd let him see that. you deserve it and so does he. Let the ex wallow and swallow.