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Should I call him?
I’ve been seeing this guy for 8 months (basically on the daily) but we were non-exclusive or serious. Mutual decision, neither of us are in a position really. I NEVER would call him. I didn’t want to be pushy or needy or anything like that. So I waited, & he called me, every day. We had a “hiccup” this weekend, my fault, & things were admittedly awkward & distant.
On Tuesday I confessed to a girl he was seeing on and off (but not in a relationship) when we first got together that I had hooked up with him, although I did not tell her that I was the reason he ultimately stopped seeing her. The thing is I work with her, and I wanted to be the one to tell her, rather than her find out some other way. Especially because if he and I were about to be over I would have no reason to but then it might come out in a month or a year and she would feel betrayed (although she does feel that way now).
The thing I didn’t know is that they hooked up on Monday…… So she is hurt. He was upset with me for telling her. Tuesday after work he & I met for dinner. When I got to his place he admitted that he was furious when he found out but that he had calmed down, but that he could never be with me now, because I hurt his friend. . I explained my reasons for the confession, that I had always wanted to but kept putting it off, & within awhile he was saying that he could already tell that it wasn’t over & in a few weeks one of us would drunk text the other. Then he says lets go get something to eat. He was a COMPLETE gentleman (doors, chairs, everything) as usual. We had a great time. After he paid the bill and we were leaving he confided “I am in big trouble”.
Apparently she texted him and he told her he was out to eat with me and she was furious.
Then we go back to his place and he goes inside and proceeds like NOTHING had happened. He walked me to my car when I left, called me within a few minutes to make sure I got home alright and we talked for an hour or so more. He did reiterate on the phone that he was upset and yada yada. Then he starts talking about how he just wants to settle down and be done with all this drama and maybe have another baby. His last word to me were “I’m just so… I gotta go, need to be alone”.
Yesterday he didn’t call me. Yesterday his younger brother’s wife gave birth to his first nephew. I figure he may just have not called because he was busy & such. But I don’t know now if I should call him and see if he is okay. The baby stuff is always hard for him. Reminds him of when his marriage was good.
I WANT to call him. But I don’t want to smother him.