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Give Advice: My Long-Distance Relationship Is Fizzling Out

Published on August 6, 2012 by solostar

I met a man via a dating site in october last year.We have been comunicating and dating since then. He live in the US and I live in The caribbean.I had visited him and he had visited me.He used to text me all days lately he is not texting or every 3 or 4 days. should I be worry? should I ask him why? The situation is starting to affect me. What should I do?

ANSWERS

Yes you should worry, but don't jump to conclusions. Be suspicious. Relationships are tough, and long distance ones definately fizzle out until the guy finds something else close by. Best to move on.

Yes you should worry, but don't jump to conclusions. Be suspicious. Relationships are tough, and long distance ones definately fizzle out until the guy finds something else close by. Best to move on.

Long distance is really challenging. Have you had a discussion of being exclusive or are you assuming it is exclusive? This is important to know. If you have not had this discussion you cannot assume it's exclusive.

When he does respond, be receptive to what he is able to give you, which may only be contacting you every 3 or 4 days.

I would like to know more details so I can give you better advice.

Please contact me directly for a free consultation ;). I have some good tips for you if you are interested.

Love, Dina Z Colada dinazcolada@gmail.com

Here are some answers from our YourTango Facebook Community (http://ow.ly/cPXnW)

Roxann says: They rarely work out... Just saying....

I said: In my experience, it's much more important to have a solid plan in a LDR than in other dating situations. A LDR can work if there's a definite end date, or if both people genuinely like a LDR structure (some married people live on opposite sides of the country!) It doesn't work as well if your attitude is "let's wait and see."

Julia says: I've been in a LDR for a year and a half and I've never gone more than a day without talking to my bf, unless one of us was away or something. I do know it can be stressful so that could be an issue. Its not easy but like Emma said you should have a plan about your future and where you both want the relationship to go. Besides that I think trust and communication are the biggest things, just like a relationship where you lived in the same area. It's not always doomed or rarely work out, its how much you want to be together and make it work :)

Dear Ms. Solostar, first of all, a long distance relationship is not a real relationship, is a psudo-relationship.In order to get to know someone well, we need to live close by, see each other, relate to each other personally, see how the person we are dating handles life, handle stress, handle finances, etc. Should you ask him why? Why bother? I believe you know the answer to that question. Were I you, I would let this guy go and start dating someone else real fast, he doesn't seems too interested anymore. Should you worry? If you want to but were I you, I would carry on with your life where you live and try to find someone else.I bet my many years of experience that he is dating someone else. According to my friend who used to work for Match, eHarmony, OkCupid, PlentyofFish and two other Latin online dating websites, many guys troll the Internet looking for women that they can visit, "date" then they do the "keep in touch" thing for a while, then they start to space out the communications and then disappear completely. Do yourself a favor and be realistic, let this one go if you yearn for a real relationship but if you don't, and you like your freedom, by all means, keep trying to peak his interest again.

Often, couples who have a long distance relationship for many years or married couples who live far away from each other, have problems with intimacy and that's why, having long distance relationships or living apart works for them. It's safer to just visit each other once in a while, so they can have their relationship but don't have to get too "close" to each other. Evaluate what you really want from the relationship and then make your decision. Also, I don't know your age but I always advise my clients to never waste their time when they see the writing on the wall. Father Time is not too kind to us and he doesn't give us back the time we lost. Much luck to you.

cristinarobinson.com

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