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Should I be upset if my mother-in law cancels at the last minute?

Published on April 27, 2009 by karenchicky

My oldest son, her oldest grandchild will graduate from college in a couple of weeks. For months it was the plan for both my parents and my in-laws to attend. Now, down to the wire, we had to get a head count for the number of tickets we needed. When we called my in-laws yesterday, they stuttered and asked if they needed to make their own arrangements or could they stay with us. When they were told no one was staying with us, they could, they said they didn't know if they could come because they had already promised another grandchild they would attend an 8th grade graduation. When they realized the graduations were a week apart , the latest excuse became "I don't think my bad back can handle the trip". My son had been counting on them attending for months, and this was all discused over the Christmas holidays when we were at their house. So should any one be upset that they have now cancelled?


It sucks that they canceled. But don't waste your time getting upset at them. Just accept their answer and move on. Getting mad at them is just going to cause drama, and move the focus of the event from your son to you and your in-laws. Brush it off. You can't change them. And focus on celebrating your son's accomplishment!

You have every right to be upset, to scream, to shout, to vent. Now that you have done so via YourTango to us who have heard and understand you, move on and put this episode of As the Children Graduate in the vault. I totally agree with Lyz, no family drama should upstaged your son on his graduation.

Make that graduation day the BEST for your son. Try not to dwell on the fact that the family isn't there. Less said, more power! It's seriously their loss, and one day, they'll look back and regret it - especially the minute you send them a nice grad photo!

I'd be upset too - and try not to show that to your son. But yes, it is okay to feel hurt.

Your in-laws have their reasons, no matter what they are. It doesn't seem right or fair - but don't let that stop all of you from enjoying a great accomplishment!