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Should I be patient in this new long-distance relationship?

Published on April 7, 2010 by niecey

I met a guy on a dating site on 3/24 (he said he was impressed with my profile and sent me a message). He asked could we talk via each other's pesonal email. I agreed.We exchanged email addresses and began talking via email. Then he got me on IM. Then he asked for my phone #. I gave it to him and we've been communicating every day, via all of the above methods. Then he began calling me while he's at work (he's in Iraq). He figured out how to call me from his laptop, all of this was his idea. We hit it off right from the start, it's as though we've known each other forever. Our conversations just flow. Kindred spirits, we're both Scorpios. Pure understanding; we even finish each others' sentences. One day we sent each other emais at the same time but neither one of us knew until later on after we'd read the other's email, but we had said to each other the exact same things about a certain subject. It was so uncanny! He told me he has never felt this way about someone before (neither have I). He'll be coming back home in May. He lives about 4 hrs. away from me. He said he's coming to see me the day after he gets home and stay in my city (at a hotel, his idea also...I liked that) until time for him to go back overseas. On Friday he told me he's seriously considering coming home permanently and living here in my city. He said he would like for me to take him around to show him the city, and some of the things and places I've told him about. He said that he is going to look into transferring here to my city so that we could be together, and that he could easily get a job here. I was impressed with that, too! Well, everything was going fine until Saturday 5/3. That was the last time I heard from. He hasn't called or emailed me. We both agree these feelings we have for each other are beautiful and yet a little scary. He has told me he wants to spoil me rotten, and we both agree on what we are looking for in a relationship. We have the same rhythms and composure. We also have both been in bad relationships before. He was married twice before. Neither one of us wants any more drama in our lives and both of us are in search of a committed relationship. So I don't know what to think about this sudden silence from him. We have never had a cross word, and was wondering what you thought about this. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt for now (it's only been 2 wks)? I "KNOW" that we are right for each other and it "IS" kinda scary, but these things do happen. We're only 11 months apart in age, we're in our mid 50's, and we both have agreed we're too old for games. Could he possibly be overwhelmed, and just taking a step back to assess things? I know that men are notorious for stepping back when they first realize they're in love, etc. with someone. I have a cousin who just got married last month to a guy she met on the net 2 yrs. ago. He did the same thing to her initially. They got along just fine, and then he stopped calling her, and he stopped answering her emails and phone calls. So soon after, she stopped emailing and calling him. Then a couple of months later, he began calling her again, and the rest is history. What are your thoughts on my friend and me? Thank you for your advice and input.

ANSWERS

It's hard to say what is going on. Is he in the military? Sad to think but maybe he's been injured? Or maybe he's found someone else that he's become infatuated with. Or maybe he is a creepy internet stalker and has moved on to someone else? There's no way to know for sure. Just be patient. All LDR's take a lot of patience to work through. If nothing is actually wrong, he'll eventually get back to you. As far as him moving to your town to be with you goes, I'd take it down a notch slower. He hasn't even met you in person yet and he's talking about moving to be with you. I'd say that when he comes to visit show him around and be open to discussions about moving with him, but approach it cautiously. Some guys can talk a sweet game (like wanting to spoil you) but not be sincere. That said, many many online dating couples do make it long term so there's definitely potential there. Just be patient and see what happens.

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