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Should I ask him where he sees things going? or no?

Published on December 5, 2012 by brittbratt94

So I've been "talking" to this guy for almost a month now, and things were going great at first. He'd always want to hangout he would say cute things, and reply fast to my texts, says he is looking for a relationship.. he still wants to hangout and all but he takes longer to reply and things just feel different. He did bring me to meet his friends though and he texts me everymorning to say Im taking those as good signs..but is it bad if I have a talk with him and ask where he sees things going? I really like him and I'd rather him call things off now rather than two months or so down the road and have me end up getting hurt. Do you think it would push him away more if I just had a simple talk with him? Or should I just let it be and see what happens?


I like your thinking. It is better to know where he stands at this point then guess and be potentially let down in the future. Check in with him. Honor who you are by being upfront. You want to make sure you are on the same page going forward. -- Allison Pescosolido MA, Divorce Detox We will be having a dating teleclass in January. You will have the opportunity to learn about dating and real love.

Absolutely. It's really important to know that you are aligned and want the same things so you don't find yourself disappointed down the road. Have a great talk where you share your vision and then ask then ask him his. This is a clear, directed conversation that will have you in reality. No mystery dating. Go for it--you'll feel so great about it...either way. If he's not on the same page, then are free to spend your time finding someone you will be aligned with. I hope this helps!

~Bari Lyman, Your Coach For Extraordinary Lifetime Love Check out 3 Myths That Sabotage Your Quest For Love at and get a free gift at

It might be helpful to have a conversation with your guy about your relationship and what you both want, but we recommend you think in advance about what you really want to know and watch your expectations. From what you write, it sounds like you might fear/worry/expect that in a couple of months he's going to end the relationship and hurt you. If you're carrying an expectation that you'll inevitably get hurt, please take some time to heal that.

When you talk with him, it might be more helpful to ask him about the kind of commitment he's willing to make right now. Instead of asking him about the future (which can be really hard for anyone to predict), think about a specific step in relationship commitment that you'd like now. It can be relatively small but think of what would feel good to you and then ask him about it.

Best Wishes, Susie and Otto