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Give Advice: I'm Stuck On Mrs. Wrong

Published on August 3, 2010 by crazycat

Hi, I am single, 25 M. In 2003, i met this girl online who i fall in love with after getting to know her. But sadly, i am very shy and knowing i will not be able to handle my feelings, i asked her to stop talking with me without giving her a reason. Just to take a break. Then she moved to another country and i wasn't able to handle us not communicating. I missed her so much, wanted her to talk to me back but she refused. After 2-3 years, she started talking wit me when she settled down in one country. What i didn't know was that she started talking with me not right away but she got free internet connection from her work place. Once there, i told her the truth : that i love her and want to end up marrying her. She said the samething and we began talking and calling eachother as lovers. It felt so nice and complete. While there, her brother was supporting her. By new-year, they kind of have a fight and she told me she is in money trouble..can't pay rent etc. So one sunday, i wired her quite a lot of money, at least for me. On wed that followed, out of the blue, she told me she is engaged to be married and i should get it out of mind. That was quite a shock but not wanting to lose her, i just gave her my blessing. Step by step she stopped talking with me. ONce i met her online and she said - i got nothing to speak with you. So, i let her go. And i decided to learn to live without her. Then after a month she arrived to the US and called me. And told me a lot about her previous life, which keep on changing from time to time. 1. She said she been living with the guy for 3 years which was different from just engaged comment before. 2. She told me, to my very shock, when she chats wit me or write emails, her fiance was wit her. 3. She said she is broken up with him and she was never engaged with him which is another lie or story. But last time she told me i am no good for her tho she tried to change it. Despite all her lies and insensitivity, i still love her. I still wanna go to her place and end up with her. Could you save me from this mess i am in? Just wanna move on with my life. And why do you think she keeps on doing that?


Hey! My two cents is that you NEED to get as far from her as you can.

I don't want to be rude or hurt your feelings or anything but she's doing you no good. She's using you and lying to you. You're the one who admits it so you know she's lying.

I understand you can still love her after all she's done to you but that's not healthy and will never make you happy. Your happiness needs to be your priority right now - that's not selfish, that's just how things need to be right now.

I've been in a similar situation and, trust me, you'll look back in a while and realize getting away NOW is the right thing to do. The longer you stay, the "deeper" you'll be in it.

Thanks Barbara,

I hear you loud and clear. How do i just do that? Believe me, i deleted everything [her address and all] but soon, i began to miss her and wonder "what could she be doing right now?" and i end up asking her something. I know thats my weakest point but i really can't help it.

I have to agree with Barbara,obviously you can't trust this woman so it's best to walk away. And just remember that everything happens for a reason and God knows what's best for us when we don't so in time I know He WILL send you someone good for you if you just trust Him. I'm praying for you.

once a liar always liar. you'll be told sad stories, hopeful future plans etc, at the end of the day when you are where she feels she would like you to be you will once again present as her boy toy and you'll be hurt. this woman presents clearly as being clueless as to what a relationship is and demonstrating willingness to conform to being with you without hidden agenda. there are many women out there who will find your qualities intriguing and can make you happy even with their flaws which am sure won't measure up to the drama you have been dealing with

This sounds like an internet scam. You were the mark of some scammer and she did everything she could to make you love her and trust her and once she got the money, she fled.