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She lets men flirt with her

Published on October 16, 2013 by planetpounder

So I have been in a relationship for the last 8 months, The Girl is amazing. I love her more than anything. We live about 4 hours apart and only see each other on the weekends. She is amazing, but the problem is she lets other men flirt with her actively. She is in the US navy and I recognize that this cannot be avoided, But she opening lets them flirt and hit on her. Her "Best Friend" there even kissed her on the neck. Now when I get upset about this, she said that he was still her best friend and "was sure he had no feelings for her". She makes me feel extremely insecure with all the other men she actively goes out on dates and to concerts with. She loves me emmensly, I know it. I trust her, But I don't trust these people she hangs out with. Nothing makes me feel worse and more insecure than hearing about how great the movie went with the same guy every other day. Point is, I'm extremely insecure about how she is letting this happen. I feel terrible. I need to know if the fault is with me or with her.

ANSWERS

First off, it’s no one’s fault. Don’t feel the need to blame yourself or her. That won’t get you anywhere. The next time you see her, sit down with her and explain that though you trust her explicitly, the situation makes you feel insecure and uncomfortable. Work together towards a common ground that you can both be happy with. You need to remember that she is entitled to a social life, and she is surrounded by men in the Navy. Statistically there aren't as many women for her to be girlfriends with. She’s working with a smaller pool of women, and so it’s natural to form friendships with her coworkers, be they male or female. Make it clear that you don’t blame her (that will just alienate her), but that something about the situation needs to change.

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