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Sex on a first date?

Published on May 5, 2010 by scorpiochild

I am back on the dating scene after many years of being on my own and raising my children. I recently met a very nice local guy online, and had a surprisingly wonderful, romantic evening with him.

In a similar situation a year ago, I met a guy and had sex with him on a first date and never heard from him again, and I didn't want this history to repeat itself. So, even thoughthis guy really turned me on, I didn't have sex with him because I thought perhaps if I did, he might think I was too easy, and then not be interested in seeing me again.. And I would like to see him again and get to know him better.

Ten days have gone by and I haven't heard from him, so I can only assume he's just not that into me, wtth no response to my thank you email I sent.

I'm confused and frustrated. Should I have told him the truth? Should I send him $100 to pay for the bloody dinner, or what??

ANSWERS

Hi, I know I may be just a little bit younger than you but I completely understand. I had a similar experience to what you've been through. I have only had sex with one person on the first date, but I felt like we were in syn with each other. It was my freshman year in college and I felt like I knew everything that I needed to know. We had been talking for a really long time so I saw no problem with it when we finally met up. Things remained constant and we were in a "relationship", after the second time that we were intimate he stopped calling or messaging or anything. I was heartbroken, he has recently came back into my life after 2 1/2 years now. It's a weird situatiton. I say that we shouldnt put too much faith into a man. Having high expectations in the beginning of the relationship seems to scare them a little bit. There is nothing wrong with you; it's the man's committment problem. DO NOT send him any money, it will make you seem desperate, and dont message him, let him come to you. I learned that first hand. I hope that helped a little.

It is good that you did not have sex on the first date. I can say that I didn't always "wait" with my dates and with my current partner I told him that I was looking for something serious and basically told him what I wanted from the very beginning. I told him that i wouldn't be interested in a sexual relationship immediately and would like to get to know each other on a personal level before exploring each other on a sexual level. This approach seems to have worked because we have been together for 6.5 years now.

I don't think you should pay him for the date. he took you out. it's to test the waters and see if it's right. I wouldn't get offended that he didn't call you, but just continue to find other people and if he does call you again you can ask why it took him so long, but I think part of dating is accepting that not every single person you meet is going to be equally interested and that you may have to go on multiple dates before you find someone who is right to continue a relationship with.

don't be discouraged.

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