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Sex buddy or too young and not wanting to commit?

Published on May 10, 2009 by southerngal3344

I have had a guy for almost 6 years now and at first all I wanted was a sex relationship, well now things have changed. I do not want to just have sex with him and want to commit. Im only 20 and hes only 21 but he doesn't like seeing me with anyone else just him but when he tells me he doesn't want anything and we split. He always comes back, it's like he wants me but not yet. Why hold on to me and string me along for all of these years but will not put this wall down that he has for me? Hes still holding on to those high school friends that never liked me because I wasn't into all the things they were. Which I hope is some of his problem. What do I need to do? I really want it to work but sometimes I feel I do not have the strength anymore.

Help, Katie

ANSWERS

Friends with benefits relationships rarely ever evolve into actual relationships. You've spend 6 years having sex with someone and now you realize that you want more. I've been there, not that length of time, but I have been there. The fact of the matter is that he simply may not see you as relationship material. I am not much older than the two of you, but trust me... I wanted a lot of things at age 20 and none of them apply to my life now 3.5 years later. I'm a totally different person than I was then, and there is no sense in dwelling on this guy when you can find someone who wants more than sex. You've got plenty of future ahead. Hell, I just ended a 3-year relationship in which I was engaged and now I'm starting over at age 23. So, just put everything on the table and either he'll accept or he'll decline. If he accepts and it works, great! If he declines, move on.

Move on - he doesn't want to commit to you, but he wants to keep you around for the sex. It won't work out in the end. At 20 you're just starting to figure out what it is that you want, what it is that you'll put up with and what it is that will send you screaming for the door (trust me on this, I'm an old lady - 30...LOL).

Sometimes you have to see things for what they really are, even if it hurts to see the truth. Like brokenglass said, FWB relationships seldom work out as real relationships. It's time to move onwards and upwards. And realize this - you're only 20, sweetie. You've got PLENTY of time to date others and figure out what it is that you want in the long run.

Good luck!

hey move on get to know me better lol na really you sound like a sweet woman and I would like to get to know you better I'm 23 myself so if your interested drop me a line and we can swap pics ect if not I hope all works out for you!

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