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sex and love

Published on February 7, 2012 by hugsandkisses

me and this boy who i wont name had sex last Friday for the first time, it was also my first time. we are not in a relationship we actually used to date and we never stopped talking he called me said he wanted to see me so i let him come over now that we have done it he says i would love to be with you but we go to different schools and i want to see my girlfriend everyday and that on the weekends aren't enough. today i asked him if i he felt i was being clingy and he said yes but i never call he does i just text. also we had unprotected sex but he didn't come inside me so should i be worried? what should i do about him? did i make a mistake?

ANSWERS

You should be worried about the sexual slippery slope you're heading down by having unprotected sex. When you say 'we go to different schools', are you meaning high school? College? I am highly recommending to you that you cease unprotected sex from this guy, especially since he's told you he doesn't want to date you. The whole 'I want to be with you, but..' reasoning doesn't cut it. It's the vague, badly disguised, indirect way of telling you no by trying to 'I'm just not that interested.' He got what he wanted (to get laid), and attachments weren't a part of the deal. Maybe it hurts to hear, but I tell the truth whether it's ugly or not.

Do you want to be back on here weeks or months from now upset that this same 'heartthrob' got you pregnant and left you for a girl he ACTUALLY wanted to date? If not, then walk from this guy, and fast. The sooner, the better. I know how you may feel because he was your 'first', I mean hey, I've been there too. I was madly in love with a guy when I was 16 and we lost our virginities to one another. Three months later he dumped me over the phone for someone else just like that, and for the longest time I was utterly convinced I'd never find anyone better.

Well, age and experience proved that ideal to be very wrong, ha! So, be strong, be safe, and don't worry anymore about him. Did you make a mistake? Only if you choose to hang on, yes, you will be. Someone better is out there, and when the time is right, your paths will cross. Good luck :]

Yes im in high school he is 17 and im 16. We had a conversation last night and i told him that he never clearly stated what he want other than sex and he tried to explain well i want a realtionship but i dont want to give up my single life then i say well you never talk about relationship because alyways try to change the subject to something else i said you left me to think and feel however i wanted i would rather you just be totally honest then i can agree or disagree to it then he say well you never tell me how you feel about the situation.

To add to the other post, pregnancy should not be your biggest worry. You may have an STD. It is likely that he has had unprotected sex with other girls. You should probably go get tested for HIV/AIDS and the other STDs. Also, if you decide to have sex again, please use condoms to prevent pregnancy and STD scares. Be Firm about it. If he thinks he can talk you out of using one, he will try. Let him know it is not an option.

I'm going to give you some advice that I know will be very hard for you to do.

Here's what I see this sitch turning into: he using the "hypothetical" feelings that you and he have to continue communication and occasional sex. Please notice, that this is probably going to be seriously unfair to you. You probably like him very much and the fact that he tells you he "would love" to be with you is what he can use to string you along.

I remember being 15/16 and being in love with the idea of "Love," and for young girls it seems so justified and "real." The harsh reality is that Love is usually a lot deeper than liking to talk and readily having sex. With that, I suggest that you did not make a mistake sharing something special with someone you cared about, yet you need to come to realize that the sexual connection isn't going to be enough to keep the relationship you yearn for.

I would suggest that you take space away from this person and try to diffuse your feelings for him. If you harp on what "could" be or hypotheticals, this can lead to bad decisions. Namely, teenagers aren't really experienced enough to engage in a "Friends with Benefits" or "Booty Call" relationship.(I doesn't sound like you want those anyway) Let's just put it this way, many adults can't even handle the intricacies of casual sex. If he tries to turn your relationship into a "casual sex" thing...walk away and don't look back. Invest your time into better endeavors and a nicer guy.

I do like him alot but to add to this story he text me this afternoon and asked me about the conversation we had last night so i said that yu said what yu had to say and thats was it yu think im clingy so i wont text or call yu and that whenever he wants to talk he can call me then he says that i leave everything up to him and i never input anything....should i tell him what im thinking and feeling?

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