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In a serious relationship and looking for more ways to explore.

Published on July 10, 2012 by diverdude6343

Hi I am 20 years old and my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost two years and we're looking for more fun things to do in the bedroom. We've started getting more risky by having sex in public places but it just seems like we need new ways to explore eachothers bodies, sexually, intimately or intellectually


Hi Diver Dude,

Maintaining a strong sexual connection is an important part of any relationship. There are lots of things you can do from role playing to buying sex toys online. One of the most important things to remember is that, for your woman, her biggest sex organ is her brain. You need to make her feel sexy and loved if you want her to be turned on for you. It is really important to tell her that she is beautiful, let her know throughout the day that you're thinking of her, surprise her with cards and other gifts, buy her sexy lingerie. Women also like men who tell them what to do. Go in her closet and pull out some of your favorite miniskirts and heels. Tell her to put them on and ask her to do a strip tease for you. If you tend to be quiet, try talking during sex. Describe how you feel when she does certain things to you. Of course, there is always porn. Wicked and Vivid make some of the highest quality films. You can find them online. Having said all of this, a true, lasting sexual connection is really about the sheer joy of giving each other pleasure. When you have that, you won't need to keep adding novelty into the mix.

Good luck! Lisa Shield

Dear Coach Lisa,

When you say women like it when you tell them what to do, I thought about it and I actually tell her what to do a lot, and I can easily coax her into doing something what I want. I guess what I'm looking for is to bring her out of her shell and not have to always lead her into things, like putting her hand here or telling her to to do that. I just feel like she's holding back a little when it comes to pleasing me, or what but I just feel like she's not putting all she can into it. Also you say i need to make her feel sexy, i constantly tell her shes beautiful, because she absolutely is, and i buy her random flowers and gifts, but usually after i tell her that the subject of her being fat comes up, how do I combat that? She is obviously not fat, far from it, she is a dancer and is constantly working out but there's a little "flab" here and there but I've never been more attracted to anyone else's body.

Recently we tried anal but it didn't work out too well, mostly because its new we and just couldn't figure it out. Do you have any tips for us? Also we were in the car outside her house the other day and we started talking about deep subjects and she told me that I was the best thing to ever happen to her. Of course this made me feel great and of course it mutual feeling, and after she said that she spilled the fact that she has been fingering herself about three times a week, something she has never told me. A always figured she was because I bought her a vibrator for when I'm not around and so we could play with it. But to actually hear it was a massive turn on, and it turned into her playing with herself in front of me. Which leads me to my next question, she told me that she squirts but its more of a waterfall and she wants like projectile, how do we go about doing that?

PS: She's a dancer so we'll definitely have to try that striptease idea :)

Thanks again! Diverdude