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Said he thinks he loves me but hes getting married

Published on June 3, 2010 by sweet_petite

This is gonna be a long question as I am so confused right now. I have known a guy for months, we originally met online n become really good friends. He was out of a long relationship with children, when we first met. He said he was unhappy being single as he wasnt used to it. The more we spoke the more we learned that we had so much in common and were close even after a couple of months. It was never more than friends, we would flirt but that was about all. Anyway, he got back together with the ex as he said he missed the children and he hated being out of a routine. I liked him by this stage but never said anything to him and wished him well, we still stayed in contact but he knew his gf wouldnt like him having female friends so he would talk to me when he could just to see how I was and I understood that. A couple wks after he got back with her he told me he was mad about me, I didnt really know how to answer him so I just said that we should concentrate on our friendship and he said he was sorry etc. Anyway, 2 wks ago he told me he was gettin married, I was delighted for him and said so....I was under the firm impression that deep down he was happy and we both went bout our worlds even tho we kept in touch and chatted as friends. He told me he cared for me deeply, had never known anyone like me, I was the best person he ever met and would never let me go! I thought it was sweet but thought it was as friends, however, he found out I was goin on a blind date as a friend was seeing someone and she wanted me to meet his friend so I went along, we didnt get on at all but when this guy text to ask how I was gettin on with the date he seemed pleased it went bad and then told me he thought he loved me. I was so taken a back my reaction wasnt the nicest but we still had a chat and stuff was said, I havent heard from him since this and dont know what to do. I wouldnt ask him to leave his family (even tho he suggested he would give up most things, except his 3 kids, understandably, 4 me) and I want to remain friends but its so hard right now and I am really confused..... Please help....Why did he say this to me? People will think he is using me but we have never been intimate other than a friendly hug and I made it quite clear from the start I was not the other woman.


There are other ways to use people besides for sex. Emotional validation is the one that seems applicable in this situation. It seems like this guy is confused and actually, it's hard to discern his motivation here. But let me be very clear, if he loved you he wouldn't be marrying someone else. It's that simple. I think you need to tell him, if he brings it up again, that while you are flattered he is marrying someone else and that you don't want to be treated as second best.

I totally agree with Lyz on this one! It sounds to me like he is just wanting to have it both ways. But,if he contacts you again, make it clear to him that if he's going to be with someone else that you two are JUST friends and refuse to have anything more than friendly conversation. Trust me,God has someone better for you and if you just be patient He WILL bring him to you. Hang in there and I'll be praying for you. fast as you can! If he cheated on her, he will cheat on you! When its the real thing, a man will never hesitate to dump the other woman. He hasn't done that because he still wants what she is offering. I can bet you money she knows nothing about you! Don't you want a man who stands up for you and puts you out there? You'll know when it's right. Do yourself a favor and walk away.. It will save years of grief.

I was once told by my grandmother, "Nothing worth having is easy to get." and "Anything worth having takes time.".

I've reviewed some other posts and they say things like run and forget about him etc. but i say the opposite. Stick around, lets face it, you're already in love with him. You can dump him now or later either way your going to feel the same, like shit. We pretend that if you take the "High" road you will feel better NOT!

Wait it out, but approach him and tell him your must remember he could truly love you and not his fiancée, (the timing was just too late when he met you) but most guys are too pussyfied to stand up to women in this modern world of "equality". I mean for example, when is the last time a husband had the balls to tell his wife she was getting fat or she didn’t look good in those tight jeans anymore instead when asked most guys say the standard "Oh honey you look beautiful" OH PLEASE! similar to the lie men tell their wives when they are pregnant....there is no f@*king way she still looks as hot as when you first met her in that club or on campus or wherever when she was single and all made up just to tempt you. This does not mean he does not love you or the child.

Everything on my wife was still beautiful while she was pregnant....EXCEPT her waistline and she knew it because I did not lie to her.

After all of my ranting, my summation is this. He may very well love you and not her...but some men too need security, he may not know how serious you are and he already has one in the hand, the old saying is "One bird in the hand is better than two in the bush". You must assure him in some way that you are in his other hand before he is willing to let the other bird go. If he still does not let the other bird go, then he just hunts for sport and not sustenance.

Sometimes my opinions are harsh and I can be as @$$hole but the fact is I tell the truth.....and as I always say; THE TRUTH IS A B!TCH .

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P.S. You probably want to hear from more men than women before you make a decision in this situation as your attempting to understand him...not through the eyes of other bitter lonely women...but from a males perception. Besides, it doesnt even appear as though anyone else could relate...I have been him...and my current wife....basically, you.