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Rescue Me

Published on May 13, 2014 by ltrescue8

I'm a fulltime firefighter Lt of a rescue squad.but I have a second job to help pay the bills. I'm married with two daughter 4 and 1 my. I love my wife she deals with a lot it's gotta be tough knowing I may leave for work and never come back.. But she knows that this profession is what I was made for.. Ok there is a married coworker at my second job she has two kids.. Loves her husband so I think she seems to live a good happy life.. But I think about her all the TIME.. She's got me in a fog and it's those brown eyes that does it.. But I'm about to ask/tell her how I feel... I need her to shut me down Idc if she doesn't speak to me again it'll be easier to get over her that way... Is this stupid, foolish, or the right thing to do

ANSWERS

I'm not convinced that expressing your feeling to your co-worker is the best way to get over your feelings. There are better way like EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) because remember, these are feelings that don't have a real foundation in love. There is something about those big brown eyes that gets you, but it's probably connected to something in your past and not her necessarily.

I remember having these type of feelings for one of my child's elementary school teachers. It was completely irrational, and I was very happy in my marriage. My intuition tells me you would only be complicating your work situation by expressing your feelings to her. Those type of feelings come and go and why give them more importance than they deserve.

I agree with the other advice as well. By expressing your desires, you're only giving way to temptation and trying to see if the door is open. What if you express yourself to her and she says she feels the same? Are you ready to throw your marriage away and ruin her marriage as well?

It is important to combat these feelings within yourself, you are the sole owner of them. Sharing them with this other woman is also selfish because you're now trying to put some of the burden on her. Your feelings are your responsibility. If you love your wife, you must focus on how to grow that relationship. You can choose your thoughts the way you choose your clothes. But it takes discipline. Learn to not give into those thoughts and select new thoughts when she comes up.

Yes it is easy to get comfortable and complacent in a marriage. Physical affection becomes a formality and routine. If this is what is causing you to feel the pull of excitement from a new source, another woman, then you need to find a way to create those feelings with your wife. Maybe consider role playing and getting a hotel room once a month where you can both escape to and try something risky together, as a married couple.

Commit yourself to trying to reignite the flame with your wife. This will help not only kill the desire you have for the other woman, but help deepen and redefine the bond you have with your wife. You must also consider the consequences of having an affair. They are never simple, extremely risky, and being found out causes more damage than it's worth. Learn to harness your own thoughts.

Homework for you: Watch Tyler Perry's Temptation, Confessions of A Marriage Counselor.

Attractions to other people are totally natural. There are only two questions you need to answer; "Am I totally, awesomely, incredibly in love with my wife? Do I want to do something that may endanger our relationship?" If the answer to the first question is yes, the love is there, and the answer to the second question is no, I value my marriage too much to endanger it, then that frees up your options. You can be honest with the co-worker about your attraction AND be sure to be honest about the answers to the above questions. You might even consider being honest with you wife about the situation. If you and your wife are true friends, she will understand. After all, you are expressing your love for your wife and your commitment to her. You are being vulnerable and human. You might even end up even closer and more committed to each other. The other option is to do nothing and hope the feeling goes away. Good luck with that.

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