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Privacy Limit Among Couples

Published on March 2, 2012 by ifejowolo

I sincerely want to ask to what extent should a spouse have access  to eachothers life eg facebook acct, telephone contacts/callers, bank acct information, e-mail etc. To me i am ready to leave it bare 100% to my spouse, but my spouse will not appreciate this. She still want to keep somethings personal and to her chest. Each time i find out, it is as if i have delved into her private affair. I continue to ask myself should anything be private between couples. Am a xtian and a Nigerian.Is it proper to personalise things like this among couples. I will appreciate your counsel within this context 


Well, it depends on the couple. My husband and I do not share social network information, email information, telephone contacts and our separate account information. We keep that information in the same place in case anything happens to one of us, but we don't use the information unless it is necessary. For example, if he is not in a place to check his email, he will ask me to do it.

Actually, Caroline Hax over at the Washington Post had a very good answer to this exact same question today. I've copied her answer below:

  1. Happy, trusting couples can have private conversations and passwords they don't share, just because they believe in pivacy and individuality, even if they have nothing to hide.

  2. They can also have open-book approaches to everything--hold all of each other's passwords, say--and never ever use them to look in each other's accounts, because that crosses a line. (Unless it's a situation like, "Hey, could you sign on to my email and find me X's address?")

  3. A couple can also have private everything, and one or both can insist on it knowing there's a lot to hide.

  4. And a couple can share everything because one of them insists on it, and uses the passwords to monitor everything, exhibiting jealousy and control, be it in response to real or perceived transgressions.

So I guess it depends on how you're approaching it and the level of trust in your marriage. If you're both trusting and trustworthy, then she may just value some privacy and that's ok. You would want to make certain that bank account information at least is available to each other in the event of an emergency. My husband and I don't necessarily share all of our passwords, but we can access important things if we need to.