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Post-Deployment Sex Problems

Published on December 6, 2009 by userayoh

So, my boyfriend and I have been together for two years now, and living together for over a year. He recently got back from a 7-month deployment. Before he left, we had a fantastic sex life - we had sex most nights of the week, and we were very open to talking about sex and experimenting. During the first few weeks while he was gone, we had Skype sex and we e-mailed about it. Then I noticed that about half-way through he stopped wanting to talk about it. And now that he's back, it's as if his libido is gone. We've had sex a few times, but it has been very awkward; and I have tried to initiate it many more times but he has made it plain that he's tired or not in the mood or whatever.

Some more background: I lost a ton of weight while he is gone, and now I have this super-hot body that I thought he would be drooling over. And I know he had a very easy time of it while he was gone, so I know it's not some sort of PTSD or survivor guilt (I used to be in the military, too). Oh, he's in his mid-30s.

So my question is this, to anyone who has experience with a deployed spouse/boyfriend: is this at all normal, or should I be worried? I do not intend to remain in a relationship with someone who does not find me irresistible.

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