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Please help me move on

Published on May 6, 2012 by alenadenese

So i dated a guy for over a year and we were always on and off.. like every 4 months.. i did stuff with him and yes i'm young. I really regret it because i feel like a failure. I always got told not to do anything like that and i did. He dumped me 2 days ago. I feel awful inside. I need help because it's killing me because i always said i'd save myself for marriage when i did get pressured some. so.. please help.

ANSWERS

Well, the best thing to do is think of the future. Where do you want to go from here? What did you learn? Since this happened you can recommit to saving yourself for marriage. Now that you know what the possibilities, you can stand stronger when saying no and not be pressured into doing anything you may regret. People make mistakes. There is nothing wrong with that, I just hope you choose to learn from it and make better decisions in the future. Since you are young, I suggest focusing on school and friends. The happier you are with yourself, the easier it will be to be firm in your decisions. Most importantly, take it day by day...you'll slowly start to feel better each day :-) Good luck!

There are natural human fears that are saying to you: "I am no good. I am a loser. I will never have a good life or a good relationship."

These fears are normal, nearly everyone has them when a relationship falls apart, but you need to counteract them with positive messages.

If you are not religious, find a website of "positive affirmations." If you are religious, find religious teachings that give hope, comfort, and promises for the future for who want to turn over a new leaf in life.

Dear, I am a guy, and will be one of the first guys to tell you that you are OK. No doubt you are hurt, because you broke some of the promises that you made to yourself. Yes, you made a mistake but we are all human and all of us make mistakes. Your "mistake" is much more of a personal one, and does not have the implications in life that you feel right now.

Recommit to yourself. When you meet a really nice guy, know that he has been sexually active and may wish more than you are willing to give. Stay with your convictions! You will be respected more than you realize.

Please don't let this mistake kill you inside. Take this day by day, you will recover, believe me. Finding the Affirmation or Religious information suggested in another reply is very good advice. There are many of us that respect the wishes of those we have relationships with...and sex is not everything! In fact, it is not anything at all without the heart and soul commitment that should come first.

Your post actually is very refreshing ! Good luck Dave/

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