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Planning for Marriage after years Breakup

Published on January 31, 2013 by nehar

Hi there Me and my bf had a very sweet story, we use to smile even if we were in different states in our college times,but everything went bad when he moved to Australia. For 2 years we managed the distance & time difference. And suddenly one day he just said that lets call it off, as it was very difficult to maintain coz every time i use to be complaining that you don't give me time and i saw him loosing. Though the fact we both regretted on our decisions later, and he tried to get me back. But i was very hurt and so i sticked to say him a no always. He came to meet me, we had fun and we again got back but after few months it was same again, and i used to get pissed as i could not see a clear image about my future. Things happened the same way again and on his next trip when he met me i clearly said him we cannot be in a relationship coz at the end we both are unhappy. But we were in constantly touch not much though, through calls and messaging, and yes he used to see me one in a year. Then a new guy came into my life and my x-bf got jealous he again asked me to be with him and that he will give me time to make things work.He tried his best insisting me and said that he also tried being in a relationship with another girl but it did not work for him as he was comparing that girl with me everytime. But i moved on with this guy but i knew and i even told this new guy that i don't love you and i am sure that i can never fall for you, still that guy proposed me for marriage asking if i am the last option in your life marry me whenever you feel so. I tried giving my best for this new relation and don't know i was never ready for this new guy in my life now it was 2 years with this new guy and trust me he was still a very good friend to me and despite i never kissed him and never slept with him. I always kept things very clear and clean to him. Then suddenly my parents started pressurizing me for marriage and yes my heart gave me my ans that yes no matter what i still can never get him out of my head, despite seeing another guy i was loyal to my x- bf only. i was very confident and super happy. Then i asked him that what is going on with him and he said that he just doesn't wants to get married ever in his life. Now he was a completely changed guy, he said he feels very numb to feel any emotion and he isn't the right guy for me. It took me a year and he said his parents that he wants to marry me. He also added that he always knew that i am only the best partner for him on this earth, but he just doesn't feels the same as its 5 years since we both lost touch and were avoiding each other pretending that we are not perfect for each other. Actually we both loved each other a lot and we just didn't wanted to crib and cry always because when you have distance u just do the same. Now he is ready to marry me but suddenly he asked me that why is it that i don't feel that same love and respect?? i just asked him do you trust me and he said yes and so i insisted him that with time you will be confident when we will be together.He also added that he doesn't likes separating with me and wants to get old with me...ahh that was the most sweetest lines from him being in negative state.. In these past 5 years we were never together,and on his visit we never stayed together, we just hanged out watched movies just a normal routine.I am very positive about this relationship but i don't like his state. I want him to feel the fragrance of love as without love marriage is a waste. Now i give him space i don't message him daily but yes we do wish goodmorning and goodnight daily but its just so boring. I need all that craziness but guess it all cannot be until and unless he tries to come here. But is he really so negative about being in relationship and living alone. How can i make things better. I want him to take approach and leave me sweet notes or kisses.. i don't know how to go on, though i have started but i loose my tempo when i see he being so dull. Help me understand what to do, so that i can make him understand the importance of our relationship. Besides before sleeping he sometimes leaves me sweet messages and sends me bikini now what does that mean... i short we both want to be in this relation, just help me with his state.. thank you so much for your time.take care.