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persuasive argument for monogomy

Published on August 13, 2014 by 1095pj

4 years into relationship and after plans for marriage, GF (45) decides that this relationship was 4 year "rebound" and now wants to date others before settling down maybe at 50! Assuming cold feet and comittment issues what compelling persuasive argument can be given in favor of monogamy. ie first empathy then what questions will lead listener to that conclusion? TYhanks


4 years is not a "rebound." And for her to say that is just demeaning and degrades your time together. Also degrading? For her to expect you to wait around until she's 50 to commit. You shouldn't have to argue your way into her giving you monogamy. LOTS of women crave and seek out monogamy....

Dear 1095pj,

What the other two readers advised is absolutely correct. I am sorry about the hurt and confusion that are happening as a result of this situation. It does sound like she has decided for whatever reason that she is ready to move on from your relationship, whether her reasons are reasonable or not.

You do not need to make an argument for monogamy. I am a huge fan of Dr. Sue Johnson and her latest book "Love Sense" talks about the science of love and monogamy and has years of empirical research she herself conducted to back it up. You might check it out.

In the meantime, here's a great article by her: