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one cheated the other one did too... forgive eachother?

Published on June 4, 2009 by ortega791

i cheated once on my girlfriend about a year and a few months ago. i regreted that. she cheated on me 5 months ago. she saidshe regreted it but im not ure.wre sstill together though. we have been going out for almost about two years now. theres a big distrust problem. can it be solved?


Well does SHE know about your affair?! Does SHE know that you regret it?! It's a problem is she doesn't think there's a relationship worth saving. What both of you did was not right, but communicating with each other- seeing if there IS something worth saving. Without trust you have nothing. Can either of you truly get past the in discrepancy!? If you care/love one another enough to work on things & leave it in the past (& not bring it up again in another arguement, discussion) then go for it. Are there any patterns you can see? Depending on how big, bad the trust issues are will determine if you can work them out or not. Let each other know how this makes you feel. I don't know if she knew or if you told her or not, again what she did was not right either, but knowing she had an affair how did that make YOU feel?! Did she do it to get back at you!? Did she find out from someone other than you!? I hope you get the results you want! =)

If she did it as revenge, then you have more work to do than if she just did it. I think the first step is analyzing why you both cheated. Then looking at those reasons come up with solutions to make your relationship stronger. Don't blame each other. Look inward. Building trust is a slow hard process. People who have been married for 30 years have a hard time getting it back. You need to decide if you're in it for the long haul.

My friend and her husband of 18 years went through this. They're still together, but they don't trust each other. They're continually calling each other whether at work or running errands. Everytime they fight, they throw this stuff in each other's face. The infidelities were years ago, and it happened more than once. Personally, I couldn't live like that.