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Obsessing over someone, mixed signals! Help.

Published on May 13, 2014 by ladeeda82

Obsessing over someone, I need help please.

This might be a long read so I appreciate your time and help, thanks in advance. I met this guy off an app. I think we both knew that our “relationship” was going to be sexual in nature. This is the first time I randomly hook up with someone. So we met, a week later we were doing things in his backseat (we haven’t had sex yet, so mainly oral. Me to him).

He would say things like he wanted more with me but we had to take it slow, he called me “babe”, we would text on and off throughout the day, even on weekends. We never got to go out or do stuff on weekends because our schedules are so busy, and we could never coincide. So we mainly chatted on Kik, I saw him maybe 3 times over the course of 3 weeks. He would be desperate to see me, just so he could kiss me or touch me. Then one day, he disappeared. Either he blocked me on the app or he ignored me. Our last texts were cute and flirty and steamy. Then he said he was sick and went off the radar. About 2 weeks later he resurfaced, I was pissed off that he had just disappeared so I told him I was seeing someone now. He said the same thing. I made this person up though, I would be inclined to think that he did too. He would go into great detail about the things he did with his new gf, and how he was so satisfied with her, blah, blah, blah. I would simply say “Nice, good for you”, until one day he asked if it bothered me so I said no.

We texted back and forth as friends for a week or two, until last week it all came back. He told me he still wanted me, he couldn’t get me out of his head, (but he still has the “gf”) We’ve been flirting back and forth…we even had lunch last week but nothing happened, just a hug and kiss on the cheek. Again, he was being really sweet calling me “baby, love, babe” and then yesterday he disappeared again. He said something along the lines of “you do this to me” and then I texted him back (If you’re familiar with Kik, you know you can tell when the other person has read your messages) well they have been delivered, but he hasn’t seen them. I texted him twice, first to say hi and then something to the effect of “what do you mean?” (referring to his last text), then last night I texted him again just to tell him I hope he had a great day. That message was Sent but not delivered.

So either he disappeared again and wants nothing to do with me, but I know he likes me. He shows interest, when we met for lunch all he wanted to talk about was my “new guy”. He was asking questions about him. He’ll text me at 3am just to say hi or something stupid. One time he texted me at that time and I asked what he was doing up and he said he was having fun with the new gf. I told him it was funny he had to stop in the middle of all the fun to text me. So basically, he sends me a lot of mixed signals. I don’t know if I haven’t heard from him because he’s busy, he does have a very demanding job. Or if he has just blocked me or if he’s ignoring me.

I don’t know what this is or where to take it from here. Your thoughts? I know I've been vague about certain things, so feel free to ask any questions. Thanks!


I'm wondering what your are wanting from this relationship? Is it enough to know that he likes you, or are you wanting a more committed relationship? It's not clear where you stand. It is a bit more clear that he finds you physically attractive and desires you physically, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he is interested in a long-term relationship or a committed relationship with you since he has a girlfriend.

Honey NOOOOOOO!!! Drop this one like a hot potato. Read "Hes just not that into you." If he really liked and wanted to be with you, he wouldn't be blocking your profile, he wouldn't disappear on you, and he sure as heck wouldn't be getting a new girlfriend. Too many games being played here. I really think he's playing you. He keeps getting what he wants physically, no commitment, he can disappear on you whenever he likes and you keep waiting for him to take him back. He's using those apps to find an easy hook up, not find a wife. You need to have more respect for yourself and just get rid of him. Truly. It's not you, it's not something you said or did or who you are, it's his immaturity. Nothing good is going to come out of these interactions. You deserve better.