YOUR VOTE0 0
My ex and I are in our early 20's. We were together for 6.5 years. At the beginning of the relationship, he was wonderful - we talked alot, enjoyed eachother's company, and fell deeply in love (or so I thought). As the years went by, I felt that something was a little 'off'. Just here and there - like maybe he was a little spoiled or selfish, nothing major.
We broke up before college because he wanted to date others (and he wanted to go to a seperate college from me), but he came renewed our relationship within a few months. Over the years, he acquired lots of 'girl friends' - his facebook became loaded with messages from girls, and I could tell by what they said that he had initiated the conversations. One girl (from his college) actually thought that he wanted to be in a relationship with her - that's how much attention he paid to her.
I've noticed different things about him that are a little off - for example, he has no empathy whatsoever, he gets "hurt" or "upset" over the slightest criticism, if I excel at something, he either gets upset, or says that I wouldn't have accomplished whatever it was, if it weren't for him. He has no emotions - I've told him that he reminds me of an emotional robot. I began to feel that he was sucking the life right out of me. On the phone, he would talk on and on for hours - I could hardly get a word in edgewise. He began 'partying - drinking to get drunk'. He began a website where he talks about 'striving to achieve the greatest things in life' but he does not practice what he preaches at all. It's really wierd.
He envys other people, including his family, and says things like he's 'worried' that his siblings might accomplish more than him, he takes blame for absolutely nothing that he does - he always thinks that someone "talked about him" to cause problems for him - he's parinoid that way. If you didn't know him very, very well, you'd think he was the greatest guy.
He told me I was 'controlling', and said we'd get along better if I were 'more submissive'. I asked him once what he felt he should change about himself, and he said 'nothing'. I finally began talking with him about ending our relationship - I said this several times, and finally he said "let me do it" and broke up with me.
Within 3 weeks of our breakup , he was started a relationship with another girl. My friends said it's wierd - he's doing all the same things with her that he did with me - he just replaced me so fast after our 6.5 year relationship. A couple months ago, I sent him a letter, telling him how I felt about being replaced so easily; how he has no conscience or remorse whatsoever. Now, all of a sudden he calls me (he's still with the other girl). I did not answer the call. A few days later he calls again & leaves a message - he says he wants to talk about what I said in the letter. I finally called him back, and we talked for 2 hours - the conversation was mostly lead by him, and nothing about the letter was discussed at all. He talked about himself, what he's been doing, etc. When I brought up the new girlfriend and the letter, all he said was 'oh yeah, I'm seeing her." Nothing more than that, so I know he didn't call me to talk about the letter or how he hurt my feelings.
Please keep in mind while reading this that I do not want to start our relationship up again. I know it was an unhealthy relationship for me - I treated him like gold, but know that he just drained the life out of me. I'm getting to know myself again, what I like, making new friends, etc. I'm not in a relationship - I don't feel I'm ready for that yet, but I will be again (with someone new) someday.
I've been reading up on personality disorders - after this extremely long letter (and I'm sorry it was so long), my question is: Do you think he has a personality disorder, and it so, what is it?
Thank you so much for your time.