In the future, always meet a new man in public for at least the first 3 or 4 dates. You don't want him knowing where you live. He might be an unbalanced person, and no, sometimes you can't tell right away, so it's best to be cautious. Also, never let your children meet a new man until you know it's going to be a serious relationship. Usually that takes at least 5 or 6 months to know. Children shouldn't get attached to people, and the next minute, that person's gone. When you go to each others homes before the 3rd or 4th date, there is a bigger opportunity to give in to your willpower to have sex. It's best to wait on sex to see if the person is looking for a relationship instead of a wham bam thank you ma'am opportunity.
Sounds like you have emotional baggage. Get some self help books from the library and work on that. Give the man a chance to prove himself worthy of you, but also trust your gut. You'll have to know if you're paranoid or if you're seeing actual red flags. Remember, you're always in the driver's seat. You call the shots. If a man doesn't meet your main needs, cut him loose to free you to find a man who does. Good luck.
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