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New Relationship afraid what should i do

Published on May 12, 2012 by amirah_1980

I met this guy, He seems to be nice,  but  I am 5years older than him. Anyway he says he is interested in me, He came to met me at  my home,  He brought a cake and everything. My daughter seems to like him and he likes her. But I  feel like I want to push him away, I am trying to make every excuse in the book, to cut it off. I dont know whats wrong with me. I feel like he will hurt me. What should  I do, see were it leads me or what.


  1. Relaaaax! Lol.. I understand where you're coming from and it happens. I dont know your past but this tends to happen when you're used to getting disappointed or used to things just not working out with people that u allow to get close to u. Right now, things seem like they're going good and that is probably scaring the shit out of u. All I can say is relax. Take some time to think about why you're feeling this way and just acknowledge your feelings. Acknowledge that u dont want to be hurt or taken advantage of and that u want things to move forward with this guy. Once u get your thoughts together, try to communicate with this guy (casually, dont make this conversation too heavy). Just see what his intentions are and where his head is at. :) Seems like he's making a positive effort so just be smart but try to open up and receive what he is giving u if u feel like he's worth it. Reality is, people can disappoint u and some relationships don't work out for one reason or another but thats no reason to try to push good things away just because you're afraid of the bad. In order to receive love u do have to be vulnerable to heartbreak and hurt. It CAN happen but that doesn't mean that u have to reject it. It'll be ok. Good luck with everything :)

In the future, always meet a new man in public for at least the first 3 or 4 dates. You don't want him knowing where you live. He might be an unbalanced person, and no, sometimes you can't tell right away, so it's best to be cautious. Also, never let your children meet a new man until you know it's going to be a serious relationship. Usually that takes at least 5 or 6 months to know. Children shouldn't get attached to people, and the next minute, that person's gone. When you go to each others homes before the 3rd or 4th date, there is a bigger opportunity to give in to your willpower to have sex. It's best to wait on sex to see if the person is looking for a relationship instead of a wham bam thank you ma'am opportunity.

Sounds like you have emotional baggage. Get some self help books from the library and work on that. Give the man a chance to prove himself worthy of you, but also trust your gut. You'll have to know if you're paranoid or if you're seeing actual red flags. Remember, you're always in the driver's seat. You call the shots. If a man doesn't meet your main needs, cut him loose to free you to find a man who does. Good luck.

Yea I did actually met him in the home of my friend, it was not alone. Some one was there. Thanks for the advice both of you, I will take keep it in mind.

also do you what books do you suggest. I have John Greys starting over dating or somthing like that, but that about it. i havent read it all yet. But do you know of any others