YOUR VOTE0 0
My wife will not let me pleasure her.
I ask my wife what she wants in bed, and all she ever says is "I don't know." I ask if there's ever been anything she wanted to try, even just once, and I get told, "I don't know." I ask if there is anything wrong, and she says no. I ask if I'm not doing enough for her, and she says either no, or I am doing too much sometimes. I don't do it just so I can say, "My turn!" later on. Sometimes I just want to give her the pleasure and satisfaction she used to give me so freely. Now she keeps bringing up her ex's and how they made her do stuff, "But you're not like them." She tells me often. She complains that with them, she never got satisfaction, and with me, it feels like I'm trying too hard. She no longer offers or wants to do much of anything with me anymore. She wants sex to be over and done with as quick as possible. If I take more than fifteen minutes, she pushes me off, saying, it's too much. We used to spend a minimum of an hour for sex, not counting at least half an hour for foreplay, which I loved, since I could see what I was doing right, and what I needed to work on. Now, she sighs, and treats sex like a bad job. I ask if she wants to have sex, and she just lays there and looks at me expressionless for a minute or two. Then usually says something like, "Ok, I suppose." or, "How about later/tomorrow, I'm kind of tired." If she's tired, why would she spend three or four hours watching tv or playing video games? I am literally no longer allowed to go down on her, when not that long ago, she was keeping me between her legs until I could do no more. Then, I would get a few minutes rest, and go back for more. I loved doing it for her, I still do! She just won't let me... I've given up on getting anything in return now, since it's too difficult to even give her anything. The last time I even asked for her just to play with me a bit before sex, she looked me right in the eyes and said, "That's how my ex forced me into anal." I was shocked! I nearly exploded! All I asked was for some foreplay before we had sex, and suddenly she thinks I'm trying to 'force' her into anal? I explained many times, I do not want that, ever. I told her my belief is if I don't want anything in my butt, I better not try and put anything in anyone else. Now we are down to only when she wants it, barely twice a week, when before she was nearly begging me for it two or three times a night. It wasn't a gradual change. It was one night, sex three times, then nothing the next, and the next and suddenly I realized, it had been over a week and a half since we last had sex. I brought it up to her, and she never gives any explanation other than "I don't know." or "It's just me, not you." She won't allow me to ask if I can help, because, "It's just me, not you." I remind her daily how much I love her, how beautiful she is, how sexy I believe she is, that she is a wonderful mother, wife, friend. I help out whenever I can with household chores, and get nearly nothing in return. She's now always tired, or depressed, for reasons unknown to me, and I have asked, repeatedly. Only to be told, "I don't know. It's just me, not you." She barely tells me she loves me anymore, and when she does, it sounds like an automated response, she no longer tells me the nice encouraging things I tell her on a daily basis. And if I miss a day, or reminder, she's letting me know, right away! "What, am I not beautiful/sexy/loving/good mother/wife? You haven't told me in the past half hour!" I tell her that it is hurting me that she is just taking, and not giving, and she won't even look at me when she says she's sorry. I don't understand how she could go from being the woman of my dreams, to a cold, silent room mate so suddenly. I offer to help with any and every problem she has, but she won't tell me of any. I don't want to leave her, but I can't stay with someone like this.