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my wife is not sexually aroused like before what do i do?

Published on December 3, 2012 by doucet420

we met in high school and have been together since that was in 2004, but shes not sexually aroused as easily as before it takes almost two hours before she wants it, and shes always tiered and cleaning and cooking, and trying to make me happy but what can i do to help her get aroused faster and to have better sex and for her to want me more?



Actually, the way to get a woman to want more sex is for you to take on some of the housework, then she'll have more energy and she'll feel good vibes for you for pitching in. Besides that, have a date once a week, or at least twice a month. Do different things you normally don't do. Plan a picnic to eat by the beach, a lake, a park, or the living room floor. Write her a note about how much you appreciate her. Buy her a small gift that is not given on a birthday or holiday. Fix her a romantic dinner. Cook together. Go hiking, and give her a passionate kiss halfway through the hike. Be affectionate without sex being the motive. Women need affection throughout the day, not just right before sex. Give her a foot rub or back rub. Ask her when she feels most loved, and take your cue from that. Ask her what she wants you two to do to improve the relationship. You can't read a person's mind. It's best to ask.

Spice up your sex life with role playing, and going to a couples sex shop to buy some new items. Marriage is like a plant. If you don't care for it every day, it'll die.

Even if she isn't resentful about all the cooking and housework, if she's just flat out physically tired from it, she's not going to be in the mood (if you'd spent 10-12 hrs standing up and doing physical labor, what would YOU prefer to do as soon as you got home - get funky with someone, or collapse in your easy chair?) Taking on some of her household chores would not only make it so she's less tired (and more likely to want sex), but pleased with you for helping out. The housework is almost certainly the cause of her lagging sex drive.

If, after you take a significant part of the household load off her shoulders she's still tired, start looking into other possibilities. Is she getting enough (~8 hours) sleep, and is it decent quality, or is it fitful (snoring is often an indicator of sleep apnea, which degrades sleep quality)? Is she tired because she's overweight and in poor physical condition? Is she becoming diabetic (type 2 diabetes is becoming rampant among Americans)? Are her hormones and gland functions out of whack (an underactive thyroid gland can cause lethargy, but is easy to treat with medicine)? Pretty much, if she's not being overworked, is getting enough sleep, and is in reasonable shape, a visit to the doctor for a full physical and blood testing would be in order.

Other than that, following safire1023's advice would be a really good idea).

P.S. If you forgot to mention it, but you have young children that she's taking care of, I'd be amazed if she WASN'T exhausted. If that's the case, it's even more important that you help her out with house work, make her feel appreciated, and get a sitter (or nearby relatives) for the kids so you can get out once a week on a date.

I forgot to mention before. Many medications (including oral birth control) have exhibited side effects of lethargy and/or decreased libido in some people. If your wife is still experiencing these problems, have her check with her doctor to see if one of her prescriptions may be messing with her.

Still - I think helping her out with the house chores workload is the most likely answer to her low libido.