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Is my relationship worth trying?

Published on September 5, 2010 by jrtson15

My boyfriend (of 8 months) and I just broke up. We had a very good relationship, we had fun together, he was a great boyfriend, good guy, easy to get along with, good job, very nice, caring, etc.
The reason why we broke up is because our relationship wasn't progressing. I wasn't falling in love or in love with him. There was no passion or very deep bond in my opinion. We never said I love you and rarely discussed our feelings. He says that he is in love with me and would do anything to make it work. Is it possible for me to still fall in love with him? If the love isn't there and the chemistry is the only thing that is missing can that be found? It's so hard to find love and I wonder if I'm letting a really great guy go when I should be trying to save the relationship. Maybe we could see a counselor and find a way to develop my feelings for him. What do you think? Jessica

ANSWERS

HI Jessica, It's a tough question, how to know when a person is the "right" one. You say that you have (had) a very good relationship, and named several aspects that were satisfactory for you. Maybe a good soul search is what's in order- what is truly important to you in a long term relationship? Most couples who have been together for a long time will admit that chemistry comes and goes, but rarely stays at the same level as when they were dating. Love is a verb, a choice, a feeling that YOU can choose to have aside from the chemistry. Chemistry CAN be found, many couples who have lost it recover it with a bit of work. And yes, counsleing can help the two of you to discover what you really ewant and feel. Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater yet!

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