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Give Advice: He's So Boring!

Published on April 7, 2012 by emec1

Me and my fiance have been together for 5 years and we have a 3 year old daughter together. He is sweet and funny and is never abusive towards me, but he is sooo boring. I like adventures and he likes movies and basketball. I even took him to see a basketball game once and he said although he appreciated the gesture, he would prefer not to go see one in person again because he rather watch it from the comfort of his own home. I find myself regreting our relationship and although I hate the though of leaving him, I also hate the idea of my life being the way it has been for the past 5 years. He already knows how I feel and 99% of our arguments are revolved around the topic of me being bored. I know some guys that have the same interests as me that I can have fun with, but my fiance says he does not want me to hang out with other guys. I feel like if he is not going to satisfy me in the way I need to be and he does not want other guys to then why are we together? Any suggestions?

ANSWERS

I don't understand why you feel the need to do things with guys. Don't you have girlfriends to do things with? I don't know what your interests are. If you don't feel satisfied going out and doing things with your child, by yourself, and with girlfriends, then only you can decide whether to stay with your man or not. If he refuses to go to the flea market, bowling, out to dinner, hiking, etc., then yes, he is boring. If you're only asking him to do one thing he doesn't like, expand on activities like the ones above, and see what he would be willing to do. Isn't he willing to compromise and do things you want to do once in a while?

If you decide you two are incompatible, let him know the seriousness of the situation. Maybe ask him to attend counseling with you. If you decide to break it off, know that it's really hard to find a good man out there amongst the many single men who are cheaters, addicted to porn, addicted to drugs, etc. If you leave, you may regret it. Try counseling first. Good luck.

Thanks for the response. And the reasoning I mentioned having guys I know who share the same interest is because I enjoy rock climbing, skydiving,white water rafting,camping and things of that sort and I don't know any girls with those interests. I of course love hanging out with my child, but that's all I ever do. I feel like everyone deserves to be a little selfish and do things that ourselves like instead of what others like from time to time and yes although I can do some of that stuff on my own, then I feel like what's the point of being with one another if we never enjoy activities together.

Find some girls that enjoy that stuff lol There are plenty. At any rate, I get your point. He already knows how you feel and he doesn't care enough to make a change. I wouldn't say leave him right away, but set a mental deadline after letting him know that you can't marry someone that isn't interested in making you happy. I mean, you could marry him and keep him around to be a babysitter/sex partner while you enjoy life with your friends, but I don't know how that would turn out... :-/ I wouldn't suggest it. Good Luck and remember that you are happy with whatever decision you make.

The only thing wrong with this relationship is that he's a couch potato and you're Miss Adverturesome.

Can you two come to some sort of agreement where you can do your weekend warrior stuff and he sits at home? It would be a shame to let go of a relationship that's good in all other ways.

I've known couples like that: the man loves to travel; his wife hates it. They trust each other when they are apart.

Are you trustworthy? Or is this a lost cause?

Thanks for taking the time out to respond. I am trustworthy and I trust him as well. I just always felt that when you are with somebody that they are the ones that are supposed to share in the fun together. I mean there was this one time that I wanted to go this ghost tour thing and he wasn't into spending the night at a haunted hotel so I took my brother and cousins instead, but I also want him to be able to do things with me. :(

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