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my boyfriend went back to his ex how can I get over him?

Published on August 15, 2011 by nazila

my boyfriend of a year went back to his Ex. they were together for 3 years and from what he have told me the relationship was like a roller coster and never was steady. she usually tend to break up with him and take him back. when I meet him he was broken up with her but after a while he started talking to (mostly text) it did seem to bother me as much because he would say that he was compeletly over her. after a while I noticed things changed and he was becoming distance with me and not too long after that our relationship went down the hill and I did try to make things work, he eventually and slowely disapeared on me. after a couple of weeke he told me over the phone that he meet up with his ex and they are bakc together. It felt like someone pour a ice cold water over me and its been 2 weeks since he have told me that. I am very depress and I can not stop thinking about him. I am not chasing him but he still calls and texts which makes things for me vewry hard. I keep blaming myself and it is not a good feeling. I find myself crying a lot and feeling depress. what is wrong with me? am I the one to blame ?

ANSWERS

No, Nazila, You are positively not to blame for this. Your boyfriend is confused, and is somehow easily pulled into a relationship with one who can best be described as a an adept "yo-yo player." She breaks up with a guy and then feels compelled to reel him in again; and this pattern will usually persist. Your former boyfriend may have a similar need, which is why he keeps calling and texting you. His head is not on straight, and you deserve better, much better. But you deserve much better. Let go of this situation, with no future, and find what a loyal woman like you deserves, a guy to really appreciate you.

I wish you so very well! Good luck. With warm wishes, To be continued, SaraKay

I always found it hard to understand how a person can care for someone who doesn't care for them. Also, why would she take him back after he's been with you for a year? I guess to show she has control over him. Wow. what a man who doesn't know what he is doing or where he is going in life. Don't take him back. He's made a coice to go back to her. Sorry, you'll have to show him you won't stand for being his other girlfriend. Unless you were seeing him on the sly while he was still with her. If that's the case, all of you will have a very tough time breaking this pattern. Nobody will learn if all of you find this acceptable. Wouldn't you rather have your very own boyfriend instead of sharing one?

Peachy, you make such sense. Sometimes really good people do not have the self esteem they deserve to have, and as a result they allow the kind of treatment that reflects this. Also, sometimes one just cannot stand feeling rejected, and will do anything to try to turn this around. And then, there is more pain. Your approach is so positive and self affirming.

Thank you so much for writing. To be continued, SaraKay

Nazila, the easiest way to get over a lost love is to spend a lot of time focusing on yourself. Go to the gym and workout, spend more time on your hobbies or take up some new hobbies. Do things that you always wanted to do, but never had time to do. Develop a bucket list of things that you want to accomplish in your life and start working towards them. And most importantly, keep reminding yourself that it is his loss and not yours!

Tiffany is giving you fabulous advice, Nazila. You have a whole team rooting for you to find all that you deserve. Good luck on all!

To be continued, SaraKay

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