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My boyfriend likes me to finger his ass could he be bi?

Published on September 22, 2009 by hurt

When me and my boyfriend sleep together he likes me to put my fingers in his ass. and not only that one night while i was sucking his dick i swore i heard him say " you suck dick better than a gurl" like he was fantisizeing about him getting his dick sucked by a man!!So i asked him if he was bi and he said no. but i dont believe him! It may sound crazy but {he is just way to good in bed} I have wondered this for a long time now because i get these funny feeling when ever he is around some of his in the closet bi friends. Like when we are all siting in a room or if they just so happend to be sitting next to eachother they sit extra close i cant explain it but i just feel it.. but in the same breath i dont want to believe it because he was molested as a child by his older brother for years and he said he hates his brother for that so in my mind i cant see him enjoying being with another man, but im starting to wonder. And>>After us being together for 5 years{ hes just now telling me this} and i dont understand why he would wait so long to tell me knowing ive been through the same thing as a child.


First, I don't think you should harp on him not telling you his experience. Everyone is different, we all think and rationalize experiences differently. I don't think it has anything to do with you, he's not as comfortable revealing information, his comfort levels are clearly very hard to attain.

As to your question, a lot of guys like a finger in their ass during sex or a blowjob. And a lot of guys don't think anything should be near their asshole. It's preference. Heck, sometimes I wish some of those guys anti fingering would be cause I tell you, it makes a bj finish REAL FAST.

His sexuality is his and in his time. If he is bisexual, but he's choosing to be with you, do you really care? As long as you are happy and content with your relationship, it seems a moot point; his attraction to you trumps any other male or female. If it is fear that he is fooling around with his male friends behind your back, then you have a different issue at hand. But regarding his sexuality, if it bothers you so much and he's denying it, then it is really up to you to decide if you want a relationship with him. It seems that you are putting a lot of emphasis on what your "intuition" is telling you. Well, if you really think he's bisexual, how does that affect your next step? I wouldn't associate him liking a finger up his ass as a surefire sign.

If he does have those thoughts, its not a betrayal of you. I don't think you should think of it as a betrayal. He has chosen to be with you. He is working on a relationship with you.

He isn't cheating on you.

From my perspective, I like a finger in the ass during a blowjob and I'm not gay. I just enjoy a good prostrate massage.

That you've know him for 5 years and still don't know if he's gay is interesting. I personally, from what you've said, don't think he's gay. If you enjoy being around him that's what counts.

Hi i have the exact same problem but about 4 years ago i caught my boyfriend at that time on a bed with a gay guy, we were at a party and his friends said i couldnt go in the room. He was in the room for 3 hours. When he final came out of the room he said he was just getting a massage because his back was sore. Anyway i approached him and asked if he was gay he said no. About 3 days after that he said to me that the gay guy he was in the room with said that if we want to have sex in his house it ok. And he wants to join in (a threesome). I wasnt to happy about it and i said no.

Then we got married, he bought me a dildo. He used it on me a few times then one day he said he wants me to use it on him. I was really uncomfortable, he explained to me that he is not gay he just wants to experiment. I caught him one night using it on himself without me. I was really confused and that proved to me that he is gay.

He also always speaks about having a threesome with a man. And he doesnt like watching blue movies with lesbians. And he asked me is it ok if him and another man has sex while i watch, i mean come on. So its really difficult. I love him and i am too scared to ask him again because the last time it turned out into a fight and we almost got divorced. What do i do?? He even told me that he wont mind to swing as well. I am really heartsore and upset. I wake up with this thought everyday. He does things everyday to make me believe that he is bi / gay. he always comments on how sexy a guy is. For example he says "that guy has a sexy body"!!!!

Its really difficult but what can i do. He is the father of both my children. I love him but i hate the signals and things he is doing.

confused two let me just tell you from experience that he is gay and that some gays do tend to have wife with children ,what you are saying and people are telling you is that nothing is going on but that is not true from what you have written.confused two you just said that you caught him with a guy and that at a party which I think you should have moved those friends away and went to see for yourself what he was doing and that would have answered your question.I think it's was horrible what he did going in the room with that guy and making sure his friends that knew what he was doing warned you for a reason not to go in there,if he was just getting a massage there would be no reason why you couldn't have entered there.your husband asked you to a threesome and you caught him doing something to himself with a dildo,believe me I know why I'am telling you this and why I'am divorced your gut feeling should tell you everything you need to know.Most guys that do this will never tell the truth I do believe he loves you and also he has children with you so thats hard to walk away from but you will have to live with it or as I have done walk away from the heartsickness that hurts like hell.