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My boyfriend isn't attracted to me anymore. What do I do?
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now. This past month has been dififcult in terms of what has been going on in the bedroom. I feel like he has lost interest in me sexually and I'm not sure what to do. We cuddle a lot and I know he still cares about me, but I feel like I am just not enough for him.
By the way, I also feel that I've been open in terms of doing something new - somewhere else, something else, whatever. I've considered having us each write things we'd like to try and trying to do them, but now seems like the inappropriate time to suggest that. I haven't gained weight either, before someone suggests that, and I take care of myself.
The last couple of times we've tried he hasn't been able to keep an erection and for a while before that I felt that he he has had sex with me because he feels he has to. I sort of made us talk about it last weekend, and I told him that I felt inadequate and that I'm concerned. He said that he feels like he can't satisfy me, that he feels bad about it as well because it is usually the reverse (with the woman who does not want to have sex), that he would be really frustrated if it was the other way around, that he hasn't been feeling horny or sexual (not convinced that is the case - it seems to be more with me specifically), and that he feels a lot of pressure when I spend the night. He said that I was his "favorite girl" and that it sucked. I feel really terrible now and have basically backed off completely and am waiting for him to decide when he's ready. He said something about how sex was better for him when he was the aggressor. I just asked him to give me "real" kisses more often and fewer pecks.
I do not want to pressure him and I've felt that he's said all the right things to reassure me, but I still feel insecure and I don't know what to do except wait for him to make the first move. How long do I wait? When do I bring this up again? Has this happened to anyone else before? I want things to get better. Any advice or thoughts or your story of dealing with something like this would be very much appreciated.