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my boyfriend and best friend cheated on me

Published on September 9, 2013 by lovyahea.afta@gmail.com

Iam in a relationship since 8months and my boyfriend had cheated on me with my best friend 4and a half months ago.he cried and had apologised and he really dint mean to cheat on me,he was just trying to flirt with her.and somehow after few days i forgave him.its been a week that he confessed that they are in talking terms and he has helped her in a monetary aspect as she called him and apologised and told him how helpless she was and how badly she needed cash.well again i forgave him but now im at that stage i believe where i dont feel the way i used to for him.i love him but every little thing he says now annoys me.i get super nagged on every little thing.he is really sorry this times.and he showed me all the proofs of not being at fault this time.but it hurts.what should i do.seems like he realised my value and i can see it in his eyes how scared he is to lose me this time.i love him a lot.what should i do??:(

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Dear lovyahea.afta@gmail.com

That is a tough situation. I think you know deep in your heart that it is extremely difficult to proceed a relationship in which one of you cheated on the other. The fact that is was with your best friend only makes things worse. I'm sure you care a lot about this guy, or else you wouldn't forgive him, right? But this surely made you fall back from the pink love-cloud you were in, causing you to see things in a clearer, better perspective. And because of that, things about him start to annoy you.

But you also need to ask yourself why you forgave him. Is it because of pity, because you saw his tears? Are you discussing with yourself if it was really such a big problem, not because it was so, but because you don't want to lose him?

Please keep in mind that he won't be like he was anymore. You now see him as he can be and as he is, and it is up to you if you still like him that way.

(As for me, the fact that he CHEATED on you, with your BEST FRIEND would be kind of a dealbreaker for me.)

I often tell people to breap up with their girlfriends and boyfriends if they don't like the other like that anymore. Life's too short to be with people you don't want to/ can't / shouldn't be with. Of course you can still love him, but in another way than boyfriend and girlfriend.

I hope you'll make the right choices. Good luck and keep us posted.

Kind regards, Rapunzel.

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