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My bf wants to have anal sex with me, What should i do?

Published on April 9, 2013 by smart-girl

Hi im 21 and he is in his late 30s.i ve recently lost my virginity to this guy (about a couple of weeks ago). i ve been having a great time and now he wants to have anal sex with me. i ve never done tht before and im a bit nervous about tht as well. im a thin girl 5ft 4, and he s big guy and his penis gets really big and hard and i ve also read that anal sex gets painful and might hurt the rectum as well. He s experienced on this and has done it with his exs before and says "It'll be fine, all u need to do is turn around and lie down with a pillow under ur belly and i ll handle the rest. It'll be great."

What should i do? Plz help!


I would say to trust your body and your fears, because they both real. If a guy has girth it may be quite uncomfortable if your not properly lubed up. You never know if you might like it,some girls do and some don't but just don't allow older guys to try to "turn you out" and he is not trying to be with you long term, which also can happen.If you've lost your virginity to him and your infatuated then you should proceed with caution because that should be enough for most guys unless he has ulterior motives. Thats not to say his being freaky is a crime, but Only you can decide if he just wants to practice on you and have you solely for all his fantasies. Women shouldn't just do this with any man who asked. I can't say if this is too early to be asking you soon after the virginity issue, but I would say proceed with caution because women have said that act can produce a lot of erotic emotions and feelings(a different sensation)...Some women say at times they feel like they have to use the bathroom #1 and #2

You are expected to douche, or clean yourself. It should be you the one initiating the conversation. I would just be aware that if the guy is pressuring you then it may not be a good look to do this because then he may want to eventually incorporate a 3 some with other guys, and you should wonder what is the rush. Not telling you yes or no, but you should be in control of how you want his manness to go in you at your level of comfort (which is have him lay on his back after your lubed up with toys and fore play) and gently insert him into you so you can control the situation. I say this based on your size, because men tend to be more muscle and weigh more and you don't want a overly excited guy plunging into you and you can't expect guys to properly lube you up for your desired comfort...? He may mean well to say lay on your stomach with the pillow underneath you but your not in control of the situation and that can split you open if your too tense. Only you knows your body. Never let guys define your level of comfort. It can be a freaky experiment for all but have your best interest at hand first. You don't want to open up a can of worms then spoil him into believing this is a sexual act that can easily be conformed with, for many women usual are smitten with love before letting a guy go back there in a freak session. If you think he may want to do this all the time, that could also be a headache later if he is already badgering you. Also, condom or a woman's condom man be useful if there may be trepidation about cleanliness of this type of sex. Your young and may have your heart strings tugging at you to comply to a older man's needs but you should only do this if you are in total control of the situation and do what u feel your body can take in increments, but you should be on top

Hi there, it's normal to be nervous with your first anal sex experience. Proper anal sex will not cause you pain and as long as you work up to it. Seeing as how you said your BF has a large penis, it is definitely best for you to work up to taking a penis. During intercourse, start by having him (or you) massage your anus. This will help you and your body begin to associate anal play as something erotic and sensual. If you enjoy this, let him (again or you) insert an index or pinky finger (well lubricated, nails trimmed, finger cot if you like) into your anus. Go in about an inch and then stop. Its important to insert slowly and then stop to allow the anus to relax. If it isn't relaxed and he tries to push further into anus, it will hurt. Once your anus relaxes on her finger after an inch, he can push in a little further...and then stop again allowing you to relax. Do this until his entire finger is in. If this exercise is done correctly, you two will be able to experience anal play with him penetrating you with his finger. If you like, you can purchase a butt plug and there are different sizes. These can help you and your body learn to take in a larger object into your anus. Again, start slow and then stop just as the exercise before. When you enjoy this type of play and are comfortable with it, go ahead and try taking in his penis. Being in the spoon position is great where you can lay on your side and be nice and relaxed but you still have control over how deep/fast he goes. Being relaxed is VERY important as we store a lot of stress in our internal sphincters and that being tight will cause the anal sex to hurt. Remember he must be very lubricated, very gentle, and move slowly as you are a beginner.

Anal play and anal sex is very intimate and I applaud you for trying. I hope this man is completely committed to you and worth it.