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my bf doesn't excite me sexually

Published on March 26, 2013 by maybemarriage28

I've been in a long distance relationship for almost a yr... so I was excited when I got an impromptu visit from my man. Our 1st time didn't go as planned...he was ready to go and then he kissed me. It was the worst kiss I had ever experienced, pecking is ok but french kissing gets me we tried anyway and sex wasn't happening. He wants to marry me but I can't get passed the bad sex. He is a great guy but what can I do about this bad sex?


You can't teach a guy to French kiss, and let him know what you like in bed? I agree that people shouldn't marry someone with whom they are not sexually compatible and happy, but this sounds more like a communication problem than anything else. If (with clear feedback from you) he can't or won't sexually satisfy you, don't marry him (you'd both be miserable), but if he's otherwise a "keeper" at least give him a chance to improve before you throw him back.

Yes, I agree. After specializing in sexuality for many years, I have encountered couples who need to introduce communication, reduce sexual shame, and playfully practice new things. Talking about all emotions, such as his about being a "good lover," can allow you to use sex as an intimate exchange instead of an arena for evaluation. My book, Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy: Revised offers ways to approach sex that are brand new for everyone.